The majority of couples living together or married have their phone service under one account (either because it saves money or its just easier), but what you might not realize is that it is very important that your name is the primary one on the account.

Simply having a phone line on the account will not matter when it comes to ownership – your phone number and call records belong to whoever’s name is on the account and you will need permission from the account holder to even transfer your phone number in the future. By having the account in your name you are insuring that your phone number is 100% yours and that you can access your spouse’s phone records whenever you want. Vice versa, you will also be protecting yourself from your spouse accessing YOUR phone records without your permission.

If your relationship were to ever head to divorce (and we both know divorce statistics are high), proving infidelity can be a huge factor in your favor during divorce court. If you do not have the phone account in your name you will need to file a Motion for Production of Documents with the court and subpoena the phone company for the call logs – not an easy feat. You could also get your spouse to sign a release and hand it to the phone company, but I don’t expect that to happen very often .

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I’ve had my new HTC Hero for about a month and I absolutely love android, and in the next few years almost everyone’s cell phone will be a “smartphone” – and android is set to take the lead over the iPhone with the number of android devices coming this year. With the app market transforming our phones into little computers, spy software has gotten more powerful, easier to install, and cheaper. And unlike the Windows Mobile and palm smartphones of previous years, todays smartphones are actually cool and fashionable for the average person. It has never been easier to pick up a Nexus One or Motorola Droid for your partner as a gift and turn it into a stealthy spy phone in just a few minutes.

I searched for all spying apps I could find that met 3 important requirements: hidden from both the app list and task managers, able to access the spy data online, and records at least text messages and phone call history.

SMS Box

SMS Box will forward and archive all your phone calls and text messages to a web database where it can be accessed. I tested this app out and it appeared to work as it says. A free version of this app is available, but it does not include the stealth feature. The paid version of this app does not show up in the app list and sells currently for 19.90 euros ($27.13).

Pros

• Free version available
• Easily installable from the app market

Cons

• Limited features
• App must be purchased on additional phones you want to monitor
• No tech support if you have issues

Mobile Spy

The first spy software to come out of the iPhone is Mobile Spy, and it now works on android phones along with a ton of other smartphones. Besides text message and call logging, mobile spy also records photos and videos taken with the phone, appointments, emails, and even logs GPS locations so you can track just exactly where that phone has been traveling to. Information is accessed remotely online and you can check out a demo of the interface on their website. A big advantage to mobile spy is that it also works on the iPhone, windows smartphones, and many other types of phones including blackberrys.

Pros

• Works on many other types of phones
• Alerts to new phone contacts is a cool feature
• GPS, email, photo, and video logging steps up your spying power
• Yearly purchase includes Sniper Spy for free, a computer monitoring software we rave about constantly
• Phone support

Cons

• Product is subscription based
• No refunds unless you have technical difficulties that they are unable to help you with
• Limited to 3 phones you may monitor, per subscription

MobiStealth

MobiStealth recently emerged as a solid competitor to Mobile Spy and shares many of the same features, but it has some more advanced features and comes in 3 different flavors of Lite, Pro, and Pro-X. The lite version is priced the same as Mobile Spy and has the same features except for photo/video logging. The Pro version is where it gets interesting – send a secret invisible text message to tell the phone to start recording the surrounding audio or retrieve the current GPS location, and the Pro-X version will record and upload phone call conversations for later listening.

Pros The most features in a single spy app No limit to the number of phones you can monitor Better online spy interface than SMS Box or Mobile Spy Cons Product is subscription based Lite version has less features than Mobile Spy at the same price

Conclusion

After trying and reviewing all 3 spy apps on my phone I found each one to have it’s advantages. If you just want to spy on text messages and call history quickly and on the cheap, SMS Box via the app market is your best bet only costing $30 bucks. If you need additional spying features such as GPS to know where the phone is traveling and photo/video/email logging to monitor for anything suspicious, Mobile Spy is a better choice. Finally, if you need more advanced features like the ability to record phone conversations and remote text message control over the phone then MobiStealth is the superior choice.

Tags: Catch a Cheater // 2 Comments »

The two stories I’ve told you so far may have given you the wrong impression, but I should say I’m not opposed to the concept of re-kindling a relationship and getting back together with your EX. However, I do think people should be careful about getting addicted to someone else, and they should always make sure they love the person they’re dating, rather than the idea of the person.

With that said, I’ll proceed to tell you the happiest story I know about a couple that really does seem to belong together. A couple that’s made of two people that utterly love each other, and who have been separated 3 times already. But each time they have sorted their differences and resumed their relationship. And I’m quite happy it turned out that way, because Anthony and Rose are the happiest couple I know.

They are now in their forties, Anthony and Rose. I’ve known them since I was a teenager, since they’re both childhood friends of my closest cousin. They have now been dating for maybe 15 years, and they have been separated three times. I clearly remember the first time it happened, it was back in 1998 when I had just got my drivers license. I remember I was ecstatic about that, and I rushed to the café where I used to hang about with my cousin and some of his friends.

Anthony and Rose were usually the disgustingly happy couple that always sat in the middle of the group, but that day something was off. [Read more →]

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The previous post in this series demonstrated how some couples would be better of separated, as opposed to growing addicted to their mutually inflicted misery. This post will tell a story that’s just the opposite: of a guy who grew addicted to his loneliness, and a girl who could never quite get over their separation.

Dave and Deni are  both in their mid-thirties, now. It was about 10 years ago, when they lived what I believe was the happiest time of their lives. That’s the time when they were together, and even though they refuse to admit it, I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen either of them happier, ever since.

I never knew exactly what brought about their breaking up. No one ever did, and sometimes I wonder if even they have a clear notion of the specific reasons that pushed them apart. I just know they were the perfect couple, back then. Or at least as perfect as any couple could get.

They were both the creative types. Dave was studying fine arts, Deni had dropped out of college and she was doing alright as a writer. They met each other in the summer of 1999, and they got married in the first day of the next year. [Read more →]

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Have you ever heard the saying “Misery loves Company?” For some people this is remarkably true; in fact, I know a couple who could easily inscribe this age-old adage in their front door. And it would perfectly describe their relationship.

I will refer to these people as Jack and Jill. Not because they would mind seeing their mutual misery exposed online, but simply as a matter of politeness. Jack and Jill have been together for as long as I know them – and they’re childhood friends of my parents’, I’m thirty years old… that will give you a good idea of how long they’ve been together. Practically forever. Definitely for much too long.

Don’t take me wrong, dear reader: I generally nurture a great respect for the sanctity of matrimony, and I deeply admire couples who successfully spend a lifetime together, and who build a mutually positive life project. But not Jack and Jill. I’ve never seem this couple build anything except for intrigue, reprieve and self-loathing.

The first time Jack and Jill broke up (that I remember), I think I was about 7 years old. I remember Jill came over to my parent’s house in a huge distress, crying and moaning as tough [Read more →]

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When a relationship ends, more often than not there’s a person who abandons the relationship – and another person who wishes the relationship wouldn’t have ended. It has been so from the dawn of humanity, and quite likely it will be so for as long as the human race endures. Breaking up is just a natural part of being in a relationship, in the same way that dying is a natural part of living.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a position where you suffered to see your boyfriend or girlfriend get out of your life, you surely have a good idea of what I’m talking about. If you are in such a position right now, maybe you’re reading this article looking for help. That a good thing, and you will get such help – but it may be in the form you expect. You see, in my opinion there are only two ways to escape your present suffering:

1) Deal with it. Accept you’re better off without that person; even though you may be suffering from romantic withdrawal, you should recognize your relationship wasn’t positive. If so, you need to focus on getting your life back.

2) Deal with it. If you can honestly say that your relationship was healthy and promising for both you and your partner, do something about it – but make sure you know what  you’re doing. Learn how to get your ex back.

3) Deal with it, but please do yourself a big favor and avoid making rash decisions and desperate moves. I’m well aware you’re suffering; but before you act, you need to stop and decide on the right course of action.

Ok, so to summarize our topics…. you really need to deal with it. First and foremost, you need to quit evading your pain; it’s there for a reason, and you can learn something from it. You can become a better person once you let your pain change you for the best. Just be honest with yourself, and don’t let yourself go sour on account of your suffering.

The most important thing you need to do right now is figuring out the most appropriate course of action – that’s before you deal with getting your life back. You should notice I’ve written get your LIFE back, not get your EX back. In some cases it will be the same thing, [Read more →]

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With the year of 2009 just drawing to an end, most people invariably run around looking for the perfect new year’s eve program. Within such a rampant, bickering rush to squeeze the most enjoyment out of a single evening, most couples fail to acknowledge that which would arguably be most important: reflecting on the past year and setting goals (personal as well as mutual) for the upcoming year.

Sure, many people out there still conform to the traditional new year’s resolutions. Some people decide they’ll be more responsible, others swear they’ll let go of bad habits or excessive body fat. That’s all good, and it’s definitely better than just running around in circles as headless chickens looking after irretrievable fulfillment over a single night. Regardless, those aren’t quite the most important resolutions one should adopt, in the advent of this new year.

My recommendation to 2010 is for you to get in touch with your heart. Listen to it, be faithful to yourself. Ask yourself: Am I happy with the way I’m headed in my life, in my relationships? Is there something I’m leaving behind? Is there someone I would rather be with? If I’m happy with my spouse, and I putting my very best into this relationship? Am I holding back for no apparent reason? Those are the kind of questions you should really pause to consider, in the last few days of the year.

There are many lessons I hold dear, which I’ve learned from the sequence of years I’ve lived through. But the most important lesson is being faithful to one’s heart. You might have not realized this by now, but humans are exceptional and unceasing liars. We lie all the time to each other, and we lie the most to ourselves. We refuse listening to our hearts, we suppress our feelings for the sake of reason. And more often than not, we end up regretting it.

We indulge relationships that don’t bring us fulfillment. We sacrifice a much needed sense of belonging and harmony for trifle compensations such as a sticking with a beautiful (albeit shallow and insipid) wife, or a wealthy (but unaffectionate and arrogant) husband. We make all the wrong decisions by pursuing all the best motives. And generally we do it because we refuse to listen to the soft insistent voice that tries to warn us from within our own chest.

I don’t mean to propose that we’re all wrong in all relationships. I don’t mean to propose that we’re all inveterate liars. I DO mean to propose that the more we stay in tune with our own hearts, the more we’re faithful to our innermost feelings, the happier we will be in the long run. Further, I mean to propose this is probably the best time of the year to resolve following this kind of resolution, and it’s probably the best kind of resolution one should follow – and also one of the most elusive.

If nothing else, make up your mind to sort out your feelings in 2010. Know yourself, get acquainted with your true desires and emotions, and be unwavering in their pursuit. Quite probably in a year from now you’ll feel more comfortable in your shoes than ever before!

Tags: Relationship Advice // 1 Comment »

Ah… Christmas. The season of shopping and gluttony, where we all indulge and demand being indulged. While I don’t mean to propose there’s something wrong with giving materialistic presents to the people you love, I have thought of something you can use to greater effect, as a way to add some spice to both Christmas and your relationship.

You may want to offer presents as usual… but when it comes to your spouse or lover, I suggest you throw in some special gifts for a good measure. Just remember, Christmas is all about giving – not getting. If you decide to try some of these gifts make sure you do it wholeheartedly, without expecting for something in return. By doing so, rest assured some Christmas magic will take place, and you’ll be happier than you ever imagined possible.

All of these ideas for – let’s call it – complimentary Christmas gifts are absolutely free. None of them involves spending extra money, but they all involve spending some extra time. If you do it right it’s going to count as quality time, and it will genuinely help strengthen your relationship. If you’re feeling creative, don’t just say you’ll be doing so and so: you should come up with some “personal service” coupons and give them to your other half as a proof you’re serious about doing this.

1) Offer to cook AND do the dishes for the remaining days of the year. Well, it’s only about a week until the end of the year, right? Even if you really hate cooking and doing the dishes… well, quite likely so does your spouse. Also, taking her to the restaurant doesn’t count. The idea behind this present is showing you’re willing to step up and roll your sleeves, as well as proving you know your way around the kitchen.

2) Give some coupons for extended massage sessions. Sure, you may reason that you and your lover frequently indulge in mutual massaging. Well, mutual is not what you should aim for with this gift. It’s all about pleasing her, and being willing to neglect your comfort for the sake of hers. Make sure each massage is thorough, and make it last at least one hour. Be professional, make sure you don’t get kinky until you’ve provided a good service.

3) Ask her about her plans for a perfect day/night out. Do you ever get in those typical affectionate arguments over the perfect plans for a day or night out? Yeah, except for Barbie and Ken there isn’t a couple who doesn’t routinely engage such discussions. Well, this gift calls for putting your preferences aside and just focusing on fulfilling your lover’s every whim and wish for a whole day or night of going out. And don’t just tag along … make sure you enjoy it, or at least pretend you do!

4) Spare a specific amount of service hours. Print out a bunch of coupons with a big bold “1 hour free service” title and add “valid for anything from running errands to babysitting your cousin’s niece”. Make it real. Tell her you want to make up for all the times you evaded doing a favor for her, or when you were otherwise just feeling too lazy. Also, be a man. Be prepared to honor your word, whenever she gives you one of those coupons back. No excuses!

5) All of the above… and beyond! Nothing says “I love you” like being able to suppress your own whims for the sake of hers. If you really want to impress her, do all of the suggestions I’ve mentioned. Put your heart into it! Take some time to design some colorful service coupons and put them in a fancy envelope. Come up with additional offers you know she’ll like. Make it look like you’ve really put some thought into it, and show how serious you are about giving her some non-materialistic gifts as sign of your affection.

As you’ve probably noticed, the reasoning behind these gifts involves offering your help/support/company with something you’d normally hate doing. But hey, it’s Christmas! Just do your best to keep a happy face while obliging, and remember those are all things you should be doing on a regular basis anyway – that’s if you want to keep your relationship healthy, of course!

Tags: Relationship Advice, Seduction // Add Comment »

Countless people have wasted their lives looking for some kind of perfect love, while allowing for great shots at Love to slip between their numb fingers, their absentmindedness, their barren hearts.

Too many among us have wasted their precious youths waiting for their prince or princess charming: a living carbon copy of all our intimate longings and desires. Well, do you know what? Sometimes it’s better to just let go of such aspirations and start living in reality. In other words, it’s better to stop living in a world of fantasy and choose romantic love for what it’s meant to be: a construction of affection and perseverance.

In itself, Love is an elusive concept – regardless it’s generally very much attainable in a relationship. Perfect Love on the other hand, is absolutely unrealistic and delusional. It’s an imaginary concept, a matter for sigh-ridden romances and heart-warming operas. From fiction to reality much gets lost in translation, and it’s really sad how we sometimes evade something that might blossom into love, while insistently looking for something that would somehow match our inordinate romantic expectations.

Think about it for a moment. What kind of romantic love seems strongest: one that is seemingly innate and fairy-tale like and never took effort or commitment at all, or one that bears the the right fruit of mutual seasoning, respect and tolerance? While in their teenage years, most people will likely choose the former. This is perhaps to blame on immaturity and unrealistic expectations. This perception as love is akin to something that’s ready-made, and calls for no effort at all. Just like picking up your favorite burger and gnawing at it with the ease and delight of unabashed affection.

Well, know what? That’s really no love at all. It’s just gluttony, it’s craving for something that brings immediate albeit shallow satisfaction. And as you might have noticed…. in the realm of satisfaction, “rapid” invariably associates with “fleeting”.

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I do believe in intense chemistry at first sight. Love is a much more complex beast; is something that calls for understanding, mutual knowledge and insight of another soul. Love isn’t something that fulfills our every whim, it’s something that makes us whole. Something that we need, which sometimes is rather opposed to something that we want.

It may seem like an overstatement, but Love is  something that can be glimpsed in many – or maybe all – of our romantic interests, but all the while it’s something that may call for a lifetime of work and commitment before it can be fully observed. Despite the fact that you keep looking, you might have already met your prince or princess charming… several times over, and you probably failed to realize so each time, because you were too busy comparing your expectations to the actual person you were involved with.

Remember this: real love isn’t butterflies and fireworks sparking between two sights: it’s an ugly thing, akin to dreaming about your own entrails getting slowly scattered in the cold moonlight and being intensely afraid that our personal integrity may shatter and dissolve. Being in love can be intensely frightening, because it’s indeed meant to shatter our individual integrity, as to make room for fusion with another human being.

“Forever after” is a lot of time in real world romance, and quite often it’s terrifying to think a romantic affair might last longer. I think we all have a tendency to sabotate our relationships because we’re afraid it might otherwise last forever after. And that would be terrible, because our shot at true love might be just around the corner, right?

Think again, your best shot at true love might just be standing next to you, it might be the girl you’re already dating and thinking about letting go in your search for the One. True love might be standing right next to you, hoping that you’ll just grow up and embrace it.

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Since I know there are readers out there who have been out of a relationship for some time now, it’s probably a good idea to go back to basics! I’ve rounded up the top 5 tell-tale signs that a girl in interested in a guy. For some of you this may come as second nature, but for others it may not be as obvious. Either way, make sure to pay close attention to the girl you like, because there are always cues showing it’s ok to go ahead and flirt!

1) How she looks at you.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul. Probably the biggest cliché of them all, but still remarkably true! While trying to figure out if a girl has romantic feelings about you, it’s not just about noticing if she looks at you… it’s more important to watch how she looks at you, and most importantly – how she looks away from you. You want to pay attention to affectionate expressions, as well as a little shyness when you confront her gaze. Those are some of the best visual indicators a girl may be interested in something beyond friendship.

2) Those curiously adventurous hands.

There are many girls who have a habit of touching other people while talking to them. So, just because she pokes you in the arm occasionally, don’t assume it means something. Rather, you should watch for patterns of behavior. For example, does she seem to touch you more frequently than she touches others? Does she employ specific gestures when touching you? Most importantly, does her touch seem to be accompanied by a glitter in her eye, or a warm fuzzy tone in her voice?

3) Standing out from the crowd?

When a girl first starts developing affection towards a guy, she has a special way of making him stand out from a crowd… in the best possible way. Sometimes she will compliment you on something trivial, other times she will point out some of your qualities for no apparent reason. She may tend to keep an eye out for you and talk with you more frequently than anyone else. That’s the kind of behavior that usually indicates that girl is into you.

4) Common courtship ticks.

While wondering whether you’re interested on her, a girl will invariably tend to engage specific ticks without even realizing. Generally speaking, she will be performing small but noticeable gestures such as flicking her hair, moistening her lips or casually adjusting her outfit. If she appears to be doing any of these things too frequently, you can be almost certain that something is going on in her mind and heart.

5) Closely watch her friends.

Most girls tend to confide in their close friends, when their romantic interest is sparked. So rather than focusing on the girl, you also want to look around for outside signs that she might be flirting. If her friends are whispering and smiling while looking at you both, especially if she just approached you casually… rest assured, you’re in for romance! Make sure you enjoy it.

These are some of the most basic indicators of female affection. You may think you got them all figured out, but you probably don’t. Remember, thinking about playing and getting out in the field are entirely different matters. So if you’re looking to score next time your out courting… just stick to the basics, pay close attention to subtle details, and I guarantee your romantic skills will get noticeably sharpened.

Tags: Relationship Advice // 1 Comment »