For most of us who have been left behind by our ex-lovers, this is a common reaction: going over inordinate lengths to figure out a way of restoring that relationship. It oftentimes feels like the right thing to do, but it’s not necessarily so. My experience has taught me that pursuing such goals, we sometimes just lose perspective and truly get out of range on who we really are. We’ll easily sacrifice our sense of self-worth, for the sake of chasing after a lost cause. Nothing good will come from this kind of scenario.

As such, it’s crucial to understand IF getting your ex back is REALLY what you want, before doing any attempt at re-captivating their heart.

If you see yourself getting lost in despair trying to figure out a way to get your ex back, here’s something I want you to consider beforehand: are you sure that’s really what you want? Are you sure you miss that person, or do you just miss being in a relationship? Also, are you at loss because your just life isn’t the same on your own, or did your ego just get offended because you got dumped? These are some of the questions you’d best contemplate before going after your ex; and you should make sure you’re honest figuring out the answers, or you’ll just be fooling yourself!

There’s something that I should set straight before further elaborating on this argument. You see, I don’t mean to propose that trying to get your ex back is always a bad idea. Much the other way around! Restoring a relationship can be very positive and uplifting, and you can become a better, happier, and more fulfilled person in the process. Rekindled relationships can sometimes get stronger than ever, and I think genuine affection is always worth fighting for: even if massive lenghts must be transversed to get it done. HOWEVER, I know that oftentimes people who want their EX back are looking for nothing but an illusion of happiness, as opposed to the real thing.

Let’s face it: Getting over relationship habits can be troublesome. Separating thoughts from emotions is not always easy. In a break-up scenario, our ego tends to get in the way and further mess things up. It goes to say that oftentimes, people who are trying to get their ex back are just trying to prove themselves they really loved that person, and they’re good enough to keep that person happy, and it easily gets to a point where it seems as though their actually happiness depends on whether they can indeed get their ex back. However, I don’t think people really stop to wonder: “Am I better off on my own? Am I chasing after someone who genuinely deserves my commitment, or am I merely throwing a tantrum because I was dumped?“.

If more people were capable of seeing things in perspective, I’m sure the “Get my EX back” kind of products wouldn’t be so popular as they are nowadays. I can even recommend some great e-books for getting started on getting your EX back… but before doing so, I must urge you to take some time and think if that’s really what you want! If you realize you’re indeed chasing after love rather than hollow illusions and affections, I’m sure I’ll be able to help you.

Make sure to subscribe to this blog and stay tuned for further developments.

Tags: Break-ups // Add Comment »

Being part of a meaningful and nurturing steady relationship is probably one of the most satisfying experiences anyone can strive towards as a human being. If you succeed in being part of such a relationship, everything else in your life will fall into place most easily. However, you should remember that every coin has two sides: and if on one side the positive aspects of a relationship can be extremely uplifting, on the other side the negative aspects about it can be terribly nerve-wrecking and soul-shattering.

By no means do I intend to propose that you should avoid getting into a relationship out of fear that something might go wrong and you’ll be left in the dumps. However, you should keep in mind that such thing MIGHT indeed happen – and there are subtle, but crucial shifts in perspective that you can adopt right now, that will not only safeguard your emotional integrity if something goes wrong, but they’ll simultaneously contribute to keeping your relationship from going sour and stale.

The degree to which your happiness depends on your spouse is equivalent to the degree to which you’ll feel miserable if something goes wrong.

If your happiness depends completely on your spouse you will feel absolutely miserable, should anything go wrong with your relationship! To every coin there is a flip-side, and I see too many people suffering unnecessarily because they fail to recognize this principle. Additionally, the more you depend on your loved one to be happy, the most likely you’ll suffocate your relationship quicker than you can utter “Woe, not wow. where have I failed, my precious? Please, PLEASE come back, or I promise I will slit my wrists because I can no longer live without you“.

You really think you’re in love, don’t you? If you do, you should know this: Love should be all about giving, and none about taking. Love is nothing to do with neediness. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to support your partner, rather than depend on her/him  to keep you happy. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to look after yourself so that your other half doesn’t have to worry about that. In such a relationship, you should feel happy and complete all on your own:

In a healthy relationship you’re not seeing someone out of a need for a affection, but simply because that person naturally makes your love blossom.

If you’re happy on your own and you CHOOSE being with someone else because you’re in love with that person, there’s a much better chance the relationship will thrive. By choosing this route, you’ll be unlikely to fall prey to unabashed jealousy, insecurities, emotional clinging, and a host of negative behaviors which tend to undermine a relationship.

Furthermore, you’ll be able effectively support your spouse and be there for her/him, without having a clouded judgment by your own wants and needs. If you don’t let your happiness depend on your spouse, you’ll have lots of happiness to spare! There’s an old adage that goes in the lines of:

“Why do you go from door to door begging for a little joy, when you have a treasure of happiness in your own home?“

In terms of a relationship, this gem of wisdom could be articulated as follows: why do you depend on your spouse to make you happy, when you could just get in tune with your inner joy and be able to pour endless happiness upon your relationship? Why do you choose to suffocate your relationship with your measly wants and needs, when you could just as easily nourish it, and be most happy on the long run?

I want you to think about this, and maybe you’ll realize that oftentimes our lack of perspective makes us behave in ways that drastically sabotage our chances of really being happy.

Tags: Relationship Advice // Add Comment »

There are two main strategies you can choose for acting out your frustration, when you think something is wrong in your relationship: essentially you can choose being childish or being mature. Both options are at once simple and complicated. For instance, being childish is easier because you won’t have to confront your fears or handle your emotions; this is all about spying, snooping and researching… which is actually more complicated than just sitting down and having a conversation. But when it comes to bottled up feelings, conversing is never really that easy, is it?

I’ve personally gone down the childish route most often (hence this blog), because I’ve found it takes almost super-human strength of character to follow the mature route. The mature route is actually a lot simpler because it merely involves communicating, but it’s also the hardest rout because it takes a certain degree of self-mastery to keep one’s emotions from blowing our sense away, while trying to have THAT conversation. You know, the one where you set your cards on the table and speak your heart out to your spouse – which is in fact what you should have been doing all along.

If you’re feeling insecure and you REALLY want to know whether something is wrong in your relationship, and whether or not your spouse is cheating on you… you really have to confront your fears and just bring yourself to TALK about it. It may sound overly simplistic, but it’s really all about talking it over! Granted, there’s a chance you won’t get an honest answer… but trust me on this one: the more genuinely honest you come across in your exposition, the likelier you are to receive an honest answer.

What sounds more mature?

a) “Honey… I really think something isn’t right, and we should try and talk about it”

or

b) “HOW COULD YOU!?! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOU $#”%”%!!! “?

There’s not much point in asking your spouse for the truth, if  you’re acting like the truth will make you go berserk, is there? That kind of attitude will just encourage your spouse to further deceive you. What you want to do is take stock of your feelings and put them out on the open with as much delicacy and humility as you possibly can. Just admit what you already know for sure: that something is off. That’s the first step towards re-opening the lines of communication; and you may not realize it yet, but those are the very same lines of communication that brought you together in the first place!

We’re all prone to picturing ourselves as victims of an ignoble fate… but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize how you’re always getting what you had coming for you in the first place! In your angry perspective, it may feel as though your spouse has all the blame for wrecking your relationship… but trust me, that’s never how it works in human relationships. It takes two to tango, you know: and likewise it takes two to build up relationship problems. There are always things that your spouse thinks you shouldn’t have done, and others she thinks that you should have. It may not be apparent to you, but if you ask her, she will be quite happy to let you know!

At this point, I suppose you have to choices: give up on your relationship, or do your best effort to save it. If you choose the latter, do your relationship yourself a favor make your best effort to stick to the mature road. Be honest, and most importantly, be humble. Be ready to admit you’re not perfect, and likewise admit you haven’t always been perfect. I think you’ll be surprised how acting mature will encourage your spouse to do the same, while acting childish will just entice your spouse to be childish as well.

Tags: Divorce, Relationship Advice // Add Comment »

Ending a relationship is seldom a pleasant even in one’s life… especially when the relationship’s end is brought about by infidelity. Getting cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings one can experience while in a relationship, and yet it’s actually a feeling that can be most easily avoided. You may get puzzled with this statement but: I’m confident that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on. But before I tell you just what I mean, I’ll indulge your self-imposed doubts by laying out four main strategies that you can use to catch a cheating spouse.

1) Check up on your spouse’s car.

Okay, this is the first thing you want to do if you’re suspicious your spouse might be going on extra-marital activities right behind your back. There’s a number of things you should watch for, while checking up on a car: keep track of the mileage and try to see if your spouse is driving around a lot more than you’d expect. Check the GPS device for suspicious routes. Check the car for anything that might indicate marital foul play. Don’t look for obvious things like a XOXO note with lipstick on it, but focus on everything that looks strange, such as an odd magazine or book you’ve never seen your spouse carrying around.

2) Check up on your spouse’s computer.

If your spouse is cheating on you, there’s a good chance she’s using her personal computer as an instrument of deceit. What you want to do is install a spy software, inspect her Instant Message logs, try to hack into her e-mail accounts. Also… on a short notice, ask her to borrow the computer for a whole day, and try to notice if she looks nervous with the idea of what you may find in there. As you’re about to realize, quite often the best way to catch a cheater merely involves closely watching her reactions.

3) Check up on your spouse’s cell phone.

Similarly with the previous scenario, there are two ways in which you want to spy her cell phone: covertly and openly. For example, when she’s in the shower, take the plunge! Swiftly take her purse and look around her cell phone without her knowing. Also, on a different occasion do the opposite – just ask her to use her cell phone; pretend that yours is broken and tell her that you want to send some text messages to some common friends. Try to notice how she reacts to the idea of you snooping around her SMS mailbox; if she doesn’t seem the least worried, there’s probably not much to spy, anyway.

4) Check up on … yourself! (and be honest).

All the advice I just gave you in catching a cheating spouse are really simplistic and infantile, and I want you to consider how they all actually lean towards a single issue: lack of communication. If you feel compelled to spy your spouse’s car, computer or cell phone, then you likely have a feeling that something is off. If you have such a feeling and you can’t bring yourself to just talk about it and discuss the possibility that not everything is well… more likely than not, you have a problem.

If you’re bold enough to look into your heart: you’ll realize that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on.

Let me clarify something : my definition of “getting cheated on” is broader than you might imagine. As far as I’m concerned, getting cheated on is not what happens when your spouse engages romantic interests with another person. That’s pretty much the far end of cheating avenue, not the beginning; getting cheated on begins when your spouse starts losing interest in you ( for whatever reason), and fails to let you know. Because when communication starts failing in a relationship… that’s exactly when the relationship starts failing as well.

Tags: Catch a Cheater, Relationship Advice // Add Comment »

If your phone has built-in GPS (most do), has an unlimited data plan (internet needed), and runs Java MIDP-2.0 applications, check this out.

InstaMapper is a free service for tracking cell phones GPS locations and then displaying them in REAL-TIME on Google Maps for you to view. It’s the equivalent of sticking a GPS tracker on yourself (or someone else and then viewing where they go as it happens. InstaMapper also logs data locations, so you can see a picture of exactly where the phone has traveled in a time period. It’s entirely free and they store up to 100,000 locations per device.

Incredibly useful service, but the problem is most of us (or more specifically, our partners) don’t have cell phones that are capable of running the app, which is usually smartphones like the iPhone. It’s also sometimes impossible for a person to part with their personal self phone for any amount of time, so I have come up with an alternative.

Go to Best Buy or Target and they carry a Boost Mobile i425 prepaid phone for under $40. InstaMapper works with this phone and the unlimited data plan for this phone costs only 35 cents a day, so you should have yourself a fully working GPS tracking device all for only $40 bucks and a couple cents a day. The dimensions are like a thick candy bar, 5 in. x 2 in. x .5 in, so you can easily hide in a car… (oops, I didn’t say that).

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Catching your spouse or monitoring someone is by far the hottest topic on my blog. When people ask me what the best PC spy software is, I almost always recommend SniperSpy. I used it successfully 6 months ago and it is amazingly effective for stealthy remote monitoring. Many people have asked me specific questions about SniperSpy in which I wasn’t entirely sure, so I decided I should do a complete review! I will run down exactly how to use it to catch a cheater and whether it is the right choice for you.

SniperSpy has some very unique features that give it huge appeal to curious investigators like yourself. One of these features is that it installs silently, hides itself from being detected, and shows no indication that the computer is being monitored. This makes it the most stealthy spy software of any I have seen.

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Tags: Catch a Cheater // 6 Comments »

Cell phones are such a huge method of communication, practically replacing landline phones in recent years. Let’s face it; almost everyone has one. Unfortunately, they make it much easier for a cheaters to cheat. This is due to the fact that most individuals remain in close proximity of their phones, at all times.

If you do however get a hold of their cell phone and are suspicious about a number you find, there is something you can do. This is where a large reverse phone directory like ReversePhoneDetective.com can become your best friend. Enter in the number you want to know about and they can provide you an immense amount of public information including name, address, criminal record, job, credit, and any other public information. They offer a 100% guarantee if you’re not satisfied with the results.

(If your search does not produce results a RPD staff member will continue the search at no extra charge. If they are unsuccessful, you will receive an immediate refund… no questions asked.)

Their database is one of the most comprehensive and largest in the industry today. Many other websites of this kind only offer very basic information such as name and address and only LANDLINE phone numbers or outdated information.

If you suspect your spouse is having an affair, grab their cell phone and look for suspicious numbers!

Tags: Catch a Cheater // 1 Comment »

It’s that time of year – bells are ringing, children singing, oh what a merriful sight! But not everything may be holly jolly for you this christmas because the grinch is ruining your holiday with their sneaky deception.

Buy them a new phone for Christmas and install spysoftware on it to monitor all the texts messages, phone calls, and even where they actually travel when they go out. It doesn’t look suspicious (hey, it’s christmas) and you just bought a nice gift for them and yourself! Read our review of the top 3 mobile spy software and here’s an idea of some of the phones it will work with.

New years is approaching soon and did you know that the start of a new year is when most couples break up and change lives forever? It must be something to do with “new years resolutions” and wanting to be happy that makes one person in the relationship want to separate, but the research also showed that the spouses who left had previously had thoughts of leaving or had been unfaithfull during the previous year (85% of the time), which shows that new years is more of a catalyst to separation. This is a good reason to know more about what they are doing before the shit hits the fan.

Happy Holidays and best wishes everyone!

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So what if you have a cheating husband? It could get worse, but it CAN get better!

This might come across as a harsh thing to say, but it’s true. From time immemorial, human males have been hunters, and human females have been gathers; in the primitive days, men were in charge of hunting down animals, and women were fit to stay in the cave and look after the children. This just goes to say… men have a genetic predisposition to spread their seeds in order to assure survival of the species, while women have a genetic predisposition for watching over the sacred temple: home.

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Tags: Relationship Advice // Add Comment »

Someone you know has a Yahoo account.. and you want the password. Whether you don’t trust your spouse or just looking to do some justice, i’m sure you have your reasons. Yahoo mail is estimated as the world’s largest email provider, and in February, 2008, a Yahoo executive claimed the company served 260 million email users which is very close to Hotmail’s numbers. With that many accounts, there is clearly a demand for hacking into these accounts. I don’t condone anything illegal, but I do believe that information should be freely available on the internet, no matter the subject, and that there are many situations and good reasons for doing so. I leave that up to you to decide.

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Tags: Catch a Cheater // 31 Comments »