There are times in life when the best thing to do when a relationship ends… is just moving on with your life. But there are also times when it’s worth taking action and trying to get that special man back into your life. You have be very careful though with men, as they desire a challenge (thrill of the hunt) and will not respond to you begging to be with them again. If you’re serious about getting your ex boyfriend back, there are some general guidelines that you should keep in mind, to make sure you succeed doing so.
What you shouldn’t do if you really want your ex-boyfriend back.
Don’t act desperate, otherwise that will most likely push him away. You want to avoid all kinds of drama and emotional flair. You may think that bursting out in tears will make him feel sorry about leaving you behind, but it will most likely make him angry and uncomfortable. Flirting with him or submitting yourself to him physically may seem like a good idea, but it will more than likely have negative results.
Don’t start nagging him, otherwise you’ll come across as a stalker. Do not leave dozens of messages in his voice mail, do not text him each and every day asking for a second chance. Avoid acting as though you’re obsessed about him (even if you are), because that will just outright scare him. It may seem difficult, but you should try to keep your cool whenever you approach him or call him.
What you should do to get your ex-boyfriend back
Be civil and courteous; try to stay on good terms with him, show him you still value the friendship aspect of the relationship. Suggest doing something together without being pushy about it; maybe invite him to go out for drinks with some mutual friends, or just spend some time together. When you get a chance to talk to him, bring up the good moments you spent together, rather than just going on about how much you miss him.
Be honest and stay rational; you don’t want to hide your true feelings, but you don’t want to rub those feelings in his face, either: aim for a middle ground. If he asks about it, just be honest. Otherwise, don’t even bring it up until you feel the moment is right. When you do bring it up, try to express your feelings as neutrally and factually as possible. It’s very easy to get overly emotional while trying to re-connect with a past love interest, but excessive mushiness with bad timing will probably make him flee.
Understand what went wrong. If you’re serious about getting a second shot with this guy, then you have to clearly understand what went wrong the first time around, so you can avoid repeating the same mistakes. Show him that you’ve changed – don’t just tell him about it – and prove that you’re ready and willing to work through the problems you used to have as a couple.
Try to think of what he would have to do to win back your affection, if the roles were reversed; if you can manage to realize that and act on it, your chances of getting your ex-boyfriend back will be vastly improved.
Remember, there are no set rules when it comes to re-kindling a relationship. Positive courses of action involve subtlety and honesty, while negative attitudes include deceit and obsession. Work hard to keep a good perspective on the whole situation – try to look at things from his point of view, rather than just feeling sorry for yourself.