4 Things to Checkup On

Ending a relationship is seldom a pleasant even in one’s life… especially when the relationship’s end is brought about by infidelity. Getting cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings one can experience while in a relationship, and yet it’s actually a feeling that can be most easily avoided. You may get puzzled with this statement but: I’m confident that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on. But before I tell you just what I mean, I’ll indulge your self-imposed doubts by laying out four main strategies that you can use to catch a cheating spouse.

1) Check up on your spouse’s car.

Okay, this is the first thing you want to do if you’re suspicious your spouse might be going on extra-marital activities right behind your back. There’s a number of things you should watch for, while checking up on a car: keep track of the mileage and try to see if your spouse is driving around a lot more than you’d expect. Check the GPS device for suspicious routes. Check the car for anything that might indicate marital foul play. Don’t look for obvious things like a XOXO note with lipstick on it, but focus on everything that looks strange, such as an odd magazine or book you’ve never seen your spouse carrying around.

2) Check up on your spouse’s computer.

If your spouse is cheating on you, there’s a good chance she’s using her personal computer as an instrument of deceit. What you want to do is install a spy software, inspect her Instant Message logs, try to hack into her e-mail accounts. Also… on a short notice, ask her to borrow the computer for a whole day, and try to notice if she looks nervous with the idea of what you may find in there. As you’re about to realize, quite often the best way to catch a cheater merely involves closely watching her reactions.

3) Check up on your spouse’s cell phone.

Similarly with the previous scenario, there are two ways in which you want to spy her cell phone: covertly and openly. For example, when she’s in the shower, take the plunge! Swiftly take her purse and look around her cell phone without her knowing. Also, on a different occasion do the opposite – just ask her to use her cell phone; pretend that yours is broken and tell her that you want to send some text messages to some common friends. Try to notice how she reacts to the idea of you snooping around her SMS mailbox; if she doesn’t seem the least worried, there’s probably not much to spy, anyway.

4) Check up on … yourself! (and be honest).

All the advice I just gave you in catching a cheating spouse are really simplistic and infantile, and I want you to consider how they all actually lean towards a single issue: lack of communication. If you feel compelled to spy your spouse’s car, computer or cell phone, then you likely have a feeling that something is off. If you have such a feeling and you can’t bring yourself to just talk about it and discuss the possibility that not everything is well… more likely than not, you have a problem.

If you’re bold enough to look into your heart: you’ll realize that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on.

Let me clarify something : my definition of “getting cheated on” is broader than you might imagine. As far as I’m concerned, getting cheated on is not what happens when your spouse engages romantic interests with another person. That’s pretty much the far end of cheating avenue, not the beginning; getting cheated on begins when your spouse starts losing interest in you ( for whatever reason), and fails to let you know. Because when communication starts failing in a relationship… that’s exactly when the relationship starts failing as well.

5 Responses to “4 Things to Checkup On”

  1. Lori says:

    Betrayal by a loved one is paralyzing. It does not take intelligence to cheat on your partner, it just takes selfishness. My husband of 12 years came home from work one day with a U haul truck and a friend to help him. He was leaving me. No warning, no nothing. His excuse was “I am very stressed out at work and just need some time alone. We are not breaking up. When I come back we will start a new chapter in our life”. It made no sense, I was in shock, and crying so hard I could not breathe. I watched him pack his stuff, then he hugged me and gave me a brief kiss barely on the lips. I watched him drive away, and then I fainted. I cried for two years. He left me with two kids, and no money. We were alone, scared, and broke. Three months after he left, we were homeless. He did nothing to help us. I had to go to welfare and beg for a “one shot deal” (this is when they give you money to secure an apartment one time only). The bottom line is he left me for a 21 year old girl. I am 42 he is 46. I hardly leave the house. I have lost all passion for life. Plus I have a twisted spine and can barely walk. I need to earn a living but no one will hire me. We are days away from becoming homeless again. All of this because he was a selfish coward.
    Had he told me the truth, I would not have wated these valuable years being depressed. I have so much anger in me and cannot rid myself of it. SO IF YOU THINK YOU ARE SO DAMNED SMART FOR CHEATING ON YOUR PARTNER….YOU ARE NOT SMART AT ALL…JUST A SELFISH COWARD!!!

  2. Tarquin says:

    @Rachael i’m sorry but your a bi**h and thats not cool I hate cheaters and i’m always worried that my fiance is cheating on me but in my heart of hearts i know she’s not it’s just lack of being able to see each other and talking cause i’m always out playing gigs and she don’t come with me all the time well point being don’t do that it’s not cool and you might get hurt

  3. Jennyfer says:

    I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 21 months now and I’ve had 2 unwanted abortions of him, and I’ve catched him several times flirting on hi5 with girls and I’ve ripped his ex’s photos and their love diary but when i was i was ripping them he looked upset and pretended to be fine and i’ve got a feeling that he still got feelings for his ex girlfriend, because i just discovered his yahoo’s password which he told me he forgot the password, and when i typed up his ex’s name on purpose as his password and i just got in his inbox that was on christmas day 2009, we’ve had a huge argument and we got back together again coz i missed my periods today which means i’m pregnant! I don’t know what to do
    everytime i dump him i end up going back to him.

    i’m confused
    [email protected]
    don’t be a stranger to have your say or advice on the email written above
    thanks and God bless.

  4. Bri says:

    @Rachael…that’s not something to brag about hun…if you’re not happy just leave because someone is gonna end up hurt no just emotionally but possibly physically as well

  5. Rachael says:

    I have been cheating on my husband for seven months and he doesn’t have a clue. I am way too smart for him.

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