Change is possibly the only constant in life, and having problems coping with it is very common – especially when this change involves the end of a relationship. It’s fairly common for someone to have trouble getting over their exes and moving on with their life – sometimes it takes years. There is nothing wrong with that, and it’s only natural… but all the while, if this is something you can personally relate with – if you’re having trouble getting over your EX, you should make a real effort to get your life back on track, for no one’s sake but your own.
1) Get rid of all physical evidence: If you’re holding on to those pictures and memorabilia of you and your ex-other half, that really won’t help you stop thinking about that person. In fact, you should go over your house and remove all evidence that even vaguely reminds you of the relationship you’re trying to get through. There’s no need to get drastic and throw everything away, or burn it to ashes (although some people find that is cathartic), but you have to get that stuff in a box and out of your sight. If you can’t do this, then you’re just fooling yourself, secretly hoping your ex may come back.
2) Cleanse all psychological attachments: You have to get into the “now I’m single and I’m happy” mindset, and to achieve such a thing, you have to get rid of mental attachments to the person you’re trying to forget. To begin with, you must admit to yourself that it’s over, and that’s just how it is. Then, you should get a new routine; if you keep going to the same places you used to go with your ex, dining in the same restaurants, and sitting in the same café where you first met your ex… that will keep reminding you of that person, and making yourself miserable for no good reason.
3) Write yourself a letter/journal: one of the big problems with forgetting someone is getting caught up in mood swings. One minute you’ll feel fine and clearly remember why the relationship didn’t work, but the next minute you’ll just focus on the good moments and feel nostalgic, even idolize that person you’re trying to left behind. Keeping a journal or writing yourself a letter can help improve your perspective in these darker moments. Write down why the relationship didn’t work, clearly remind yourself the faults of that person, avoid glorifying him/her in your writing. When you start feeling nostalgic and urging to call your ex, do yourself a favor and read all that you’ve written down for a bit of a reality check.
4) Face the world: If you just stand around feeling lonely and miserable, forgetting about your ex will be much harder. You need to get out and start living, walking around on your own two feet without feeling as though you lack the support of a romantic partner. Avoid jumping in a rebound relationship, since that won’t help with your self-esteem; rather, get some time to yourself, do a bit of soul-searching and try to understand what went wrong in your previous relationship, so you can get it right the next time around.
This article has provided you with some ideas that you can use to help you shift your focus from woe to hopeful; there are many strategies you can rely on to help you overcome a dead relationship, but ultimately, it’s all a matter of choice and will power. If you’re not convinced that you have to start living in the present rather than indulging fantasies of a past imperfect, no advice will be much effective. Before anything else… you need to be honest with yourself, and prepare to make a change.