Get your LIFE back 3: When Stupidity Do Us Part.

The previous post in this series demonstrated how some couples would be better of separated, as opposed to growing addicted to their mutually inflicted misery. This post will tell a story that’s just the opposite: of a guy who grew addicted to his loneliness, and a girl who could never quite get over their separation.

Dave and Deni are  both in their mid-thirties, now. It was about 10 years ago, when they lived what I believe was the happiest time of their lives. That’s the time when they were together, and even though they refuse to admit it, I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen either of them happier, ever since.

I never knew exactly what brought about their breaking up. No one ever did, and sometimes I wonder if even they have a clear notion of the specific reasons that pushed them apart. I just know they were the perfect couple, back then. Or at least as perfect as any couple could get.

They were both the creative types. Dave was studying fine arts, Deni had dropped out of college and she was doing alright as a writer. They met each other in the summer of 1999, and they got married in the first day of the next year. At the time every one of us (close friends on both their sides) thought they were crazy. But all the while, somehow it felt like the right thing…. as they were indeed meant to be together.

Those were some amazing times for all of use. We spent most of the new year’s eve together in a cottage in the woods, and needless to say it was a reckless party. We’re talking a bout the turn of the millennium, here!

When the dawn light shed on the first morning of 2000, Dave and Deni borrowed my car and rushed out to the nearest town. We thought they were just going to get a motel where they could be more comfortable. It turns out they went out to get a couple of wedding rings and a ceremony. To this day, I don’t have a clue how they did all that on a holiday. I just know that by the end of the first day of the new millennium, they were back to the cottage as a married couple.

Needless to say, we all thought they were crazy. But all the while we felt quite proud on their courage and impulsiveness, and we swooned over their movie-like romantic resolution. That evening we partied like it was 1999 no longer. It looked like a promising beggining for the milennium, and for all of us. But that’s just not how real life works, is it?

Around that time I was still attending college, and as such many of the details were lost on me, concerning the life of Dave and Deni as newlyweds. I do think they were quite happy for a couple of years, but I do know their marriage didn’t survive its third year. When I permanently came back to my home town in the summer of 2003, the shadow of divorce already loomed – kind of like a terrible storm was on the brew.

As far as I know, both of them decided they’d be better off separated – the divorce was thus of mutual accord. Apparently, they just wanted to go different places in life, and they didn’t work out as a couple. Or so they tried to make us believe. Life runs its course either way, and years have a funny way of unfolding quickly – even when sometimes days, even hours seem to last for ages.

In the past few years, I’ve only occasionally talked with Deni over the Internet; I’d say once a year on average. Our conversations always seem to revolve around the same pattern. She always frets over her new boyfriends (who are invariably insensitive jerks – including her one girlfriend, back in 2007 I think), she always says she’s had it with that crazy town she happens to be living at. She always says that one of these days she’s heading back home, and inevitably she asks me how Dave is doing – to which I always reply “Just fine, I guess”.  I always say she ought to catch up with Dave, and she always replied that “Someday she will”. I never really believe it.

On his end, Dave is none the better. Ever since he broke up with Deni, I think he had just about three brief relationships – none of them lasting longer than one maybe two months. His three year marriage is Deni still remains as his personal record. It took him about three years since he even could star thinking of other girls. He just buried himself in work, rarely going out of his house, and very sparsely grooming himself. Following his break-up with Deni, he just got into his crazy / bum / priest / artsy kind of thing, and he never quite was the same.

Dave and Deni are the perfect example of a couple who should obviously get back together. Everybody can see it, except for themselves. All of their friends keep pointing them to the evidence, that neither of them was quite able to move on after their relationship. But they’re just too stubborn, like that. I almost feel like divulging their actual names and contacts, so that you readers could just flood their e-mails saying “DAVE AND DENI: GET BACK TOGETHER”. But obviously I won’t do such a thing.

Still, I cannot help but thinking how they should indeed admit to their past mistakes (whatever they were), and just make an effort to re-connect with each other. I know for a fact they will do just that sooner or later, same as I know for a fact they are indeed meant to be together. It’s just a matter of letting time unfold and life run its course… but still, it gets a bit frustrating and hopeless, realizing that people out there are wasting their lives lookign for something they already found quite a few years ago: a perfect romantic match.

Sometimes, getting your EX back is just the right thing to do. And sometimes, you won’t realize it before someone points it out!

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