Tagged as 'relationship'

7 Legitimate Reasons to Spy on your Spouse

With this blog containing articles on how to hack facebook or myspace, I get a lot of mixed feedback from readers. A few people say “if you don’t trust your partner, don’t be with them” or that invading the privacy of anyone is immoral and low. The thing these people don’t understand is that it’s different when someone accepts a committed relationship with you. You have every right know who they are talking to or what they are doing if you’re in a committed relationship with that person.

If you’re thinking about spying on your spouse you have probably already detected some signs that your spouse may be cheating. Forget morals. Do the ends justify the means? Spying on your spouse can be the right choice for many reasons, and here are 7:

1. The desire to know the truth: Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn’t fit! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. [Read more →]

Relationship Tip #1 (accessing phone records)

The majority of couples living together or married have their phone service under one account (either because it saves money or its just easier), but what you might not realize is that it is very important that your name is the primary one on the account.

Simply having a phone line on the account will not matter when it comes to ownership – your phone number and call records belong to whoever’s name is on the account and you will need permission from the account holder to even transfer your phone number in the future. By having the account in your name you are insuring that your phone number is 100% yours and that you can access your spouse’s phone records whenever you want. Vice versa, you will also be protecting yourself from your spouse accessing YOUR phone records without your permission.

If your relationship were to ever head to divorce (and we both know divorce statistics are high), proving infidelity can be a huge factor in your favor during divorce court. If you do not have the phone account in your name you will need to file a Motion for Production of Documents with the court and subpoena the phone company for the call logs – not an easy feat. You could also get your spouse to sign a release and hand it to the phone company, but I don’t expect that to happen very often ;).

5 non-consummerist ideas for a perfect Christmas gift!

Ah… Christmas. The season of shopping and gluttony, where we all indulge and demand being indulged. While I don’t mean to propose there’s something wrong with giving materialistic presents to the people you love, I have thought of something you can use to greater effect, as a way to add some spice to both Christmas and your relationship.

You may want to offer presents as usual… but when it comes to your spouse or lover, I suggest you throw in some special gifts for a good measure. Just remember, Christmas is all about giving – not getting. If you decide to try some of these gifts make sure you do it wholeheartedly, without expecting for something in return. By doing so, rest assured some Christmas magic will take place, and you’ll be happier than you ever imagined possible.

All of these ideas for – let’s call it – complimentary Christmas gifts are absolutely free. None of them involves spending extra money, but they all involve spending some extra time. If you do it right it’s going to count as quality time, and it will genuinely help strengthen your relationship. If you’re feeling creative, don’t just say you’ll be doing so and so: you should come up with some “personal service” coupons and give them to your other half as a proof you’re serious about doing this.

1) Offer to cook AND do the dishes for the remaining days of the year.
Well, it’s only about a week until the end of the year, right? Even if you really hate cooking and doing the dishes… well, quite likely so does your spouse. Also, taking her to the restaurant doesn’t count. The idea behind this present is showing you’re willing to step up and roll your sleeves, as well as proving you know your way around the kitchen.

2) Give some coupons for extended massage sessions.
Sure, you may reason that you and your lover frequently indulge in mutual massaging. Well, mutual is not what you should aim for with this gift. It’s all about pleasing her, and being willing to neglect your comfort for the sake of hers. Make sure each massage is thorough, and make it last at least one hour. Be professional, make sure you don’t get kinky until you’ve provided a good service.

3) Ask her about her plans for a perfect day/night out.
Do you ever get in those typical affectionate arguments over the perfect plans for a day or night out? Yeah, except for Barbie and Ken there isn’t a couple who doesn’t routinely engage such discussions. Well, this gift calls for putting your preferences aside and just focusing on fulfilling your lover’s every whim and wish for a whole day or night of going out. And don’t just tag along … make sure you enjoy it, or at least pretend you do!

4) Spare a specific amount of service hours.
Print out a bunch of coupons with a big bold “1 hour free service” title and add “valid for anything from running errands to babysitting your cousin’s niece”. Make it real. Tell her you want to make up for all the times you evaded doing a favor for her, or when you were otherwise just feeling too lazy. Also, be a man. Be prepared to honor your word, whenever she gives you one of those coupons back. No excuses!

5) All of the above… and beyond! Nothing says “I love you” like being able to suppress your own whims for the sake of hers. If you really want to impress her, do all of the suggestions I’ve mentioned. Put your heart into it! Take some time to design some colorful service coupons and put them in a fancy envelope. Come up with additional offers you know she’ll like. Make it look like you’ve really put some thought into it, and show how serious you are about giving her some non-materialistic gifts as sign of your affection.

As you’ve probably noticed, the reasoning behind these gifts involves offering your help/support/company with something you’d normally hate doing. But hey, it’s Christmas! Just do your best to keep a happy face while obliging, and remember those are all things you should be doing on a regular basis anyway – that’s if you want to keep your relationship healthy, of course!

7 things you can do today to make her happy!

This is one of those things that we tend to realize only when it’s too late. In a blooming relationship, many people have a natural way of taking their romantic partners for granted. While such thing could be interpreted as a sign of trust, it’s not entirely pleasant for the member of the couple who ends up feeling neglected. And generally, this is one of those things that slowly corrodes a relationship that otherwise might grow into something good.

Absent-mindedness is the kind of trouble that usually sets in when the early relationship rush is through. Also, in my opinion it’s guys who are most prone to get “distracted”, while girls are likeliest to feel as though they no longer feel “appreciated”. If you want to skip over this extremely common relationship blockage, here are some suggestions that you can try right away:

  • Call her up on the phone – If you’re calling her because you want to make arrangements for meeting with her later or ask him about something specific, it doesn’t count. You need to occasionally call her with no other purpose than listing to her voice and express your affection towards her. Just like in the early stages of the relationship, remember?
  • Steal a flower – Buying her flowers is a really nice thing to do, but it reeks of planning. You want to show her that she frequently pops up on your mind, and that the feelings she inspires make you want to live impulsively. Stealing a single flower from a garden (public or otherwise) is a good way of surprising her!
  • Buy her some chocolate – If there’s something that every world enjoys as much as romance, that’s chocolate. That’s way getting her an interesting chocolate is one of the top romantic moves you can make. Just stay away from cheap chocolates or bulk packages. You want to get her a nice chocolate she would normally not get for herself.
  • Do some compliments – Every single woman loves getting compliments, and most guys tend to forget about that when they’ve grown used to a girl’s company. Don’t do that. When you thinks she looks great, tell her – don’t assume she knows that. Likewise, if she got a new dress or hairstyle… tell her how sexy it makes her look.
  • Ask about her day – For most guys, remarking their daily trifles is not terribly important. For most girls, it really is. And it makes a lot of difference whether you’re willing to listen to her daily tidbits; most importantly, it makes a difference if you’re interested. Be interested. Ask her about her day, and make sure you listen to the answer.
  • Offer your help – Come on, let’s face it. Despite living in the XXI century, we all behave like cavemen now and then. I know many guys who never lift a finger to do the dishes, or set the table. Don’t be like that. Try to be supportive of your girlfriend and participate in the household tasks.
  • Say you don’t take her for granted – Sometimes, it doesn’t even take a king gesture or a token of appreciation to show your lady that she still rocks your world. Sometimes, it’s best to just tell her! Talk with her, hold her hand and just say you really don’t take her for granted. Apologize for you occasional absent-mindedness. Sometimes, keeping a girl happy is really as simple as that!

Top 5 reasons why relationships fail!

This is all part of learning and growing up. We’ve all lived through the bad relationship cycle. You know how it goes… at first you’re enchanted with your latest hook-up and everything looks wonderful. Then you actually get to meet the other person, and soon enough the magic starts fading. Then one day you just find yourself thinking “what am I doing with this person? We don’t belong together!” – and that’s it! Break-up ensues.

In our fast-paced modern society, most people really don’t put much thought into this… but I really think they should. Learning to establish meaningful relationships (which aren’t just fleeting and/or carnal) is a vital part of growing up. And while it’s easier to assume that all the people we have dated were – in turn – wholly responsible for all the relationship failures we’ve endured, that’s not really a mature way of seeing things, is it?

It takes two persons to make a couple, and it takes to persons to break a couple. If you ever find yourself wondering if you could have acted differently to make your past relationships soar rather than sink, you’re going in the right direction! Here are some of the most common relationship mishaps you should keep an eye out for, when it comes to securing your next relationship:

5 – Lack of mutual respect.

Respect is oftentimes an elusive concept, you know? But nonetheless it’s a very important concept, remarkably so when it comes to relationships. And it’s very easy to assume we respect someone, when in fact we really don’t! If you want to make sure you’re in an actual relationship rather then a random and fleeting debauchery, you need to go at lengths to ensure you actually respect the person you’re dating.

4 – Not enough tolerance.

Sure… when a relationship starts everything is warm and fuzzy, right? But soon enough you’re cast back to reality, as you realize you’re dealing with an actual person with personal ideas and tastes and interests… which more often than not conflict with your own! Getting over such differences is extremely important, and you must learn to tolerate your sweetheart’s shortcomings if you expect her / him to do the same.

3 – Unrealistic expectations.

When starting a new relationship, it’s very easy to fall victim to our own unrealistic expectations. It’s just too easy to assume that person is completely perfect and see her as the next best thing since bread came sliced. Well, don’t do that. No one is perfect, and assuming your sugar-hoots is different will just set you on a course towards disappointment. Remember that you’re dating an actual human being, rather than your idea of a perfect human being.

2 – Mismatched sexual emphasis.

Different people place different importance in sex. Heck, the same person places varying importance on sex, depending on a number of factors. But as human beings we have an ability to adjust, as well as being reasonable. You should use this ability and try to encourage your partner to do the same. Because if one of the members of a couple places too much importance on sex, and the other one too little… well, I don’t have to explain why that’s a recipe for disaster, do I?

1 – Bad communication.

Sex is a wonderful form of communication for a couple… but by no means it’s the only one. Actual communication involves being able to strip down your anxieties and insecurities for the sake of reaching to that premium honey-bunny you’re dating. You can’t have good communication unless you achieve such a thing, much in the same way you can’t have satisfying carnal intercourse wearing a full-blown suit of armor! How’s that for a comparison?

If you’re the type who prefers going for safe over sorry, you should carefully consider whether you’ve been undermining your relationships by neglecting these 5 aspects. Unless of course, you don’t really care whether you’re relationship succeeds? If you don’t, here’s a newsflash: you’ll have to grow up… sooner or later!

Are you sure you want your EX back?

For most of us who have been left behind by our ex-lovers, this is a common reaction: going over inordinate lengths to figure out a way of restoring that relationship. It oftentimes feels like the right thing to do, but it’s not necessarily so. My experience has taught me that pursuing such goals, we sometimes just lose perspective and truly get out of range on who we really are. We’ll easily sacrifice our sense of self-worth, for the sake of chasing after a lost cause. Nothing good will come from this kind of scenario.

As such, it’s crucial to understand IF getting your ex back is REALLY what you want, before doing any attempt at re-captivating their heart.

If you see yourself getting lost in despair trying to figure out a way to get your ex back, here’s something I want you to consider beforehand: are you sure that’s really what you want? Are you sure you miss that person, or do you just miss being in a relationship? Also, are you at loss because your just life isn’t the same on your own, or did your ego just get offended because you got dumped? These are some of the questions you’d best contemplate before going after your ex; and you should make sure you’re honest figuring out the answers, or you’ll just be fooling yourself!

There’s something that I should set straight before further elaborating on this argument. You see, I don’t mean to propose that trying to get your ex back is always a bad idea. Much the other way around! Restoring a relationship can be very positive and uplifting, and you can become a better, happier, and more fulfilled person in the process. Rekindled relationships can sometimes get stronger than ever, and I think genuine affection is always worth fighting for: even if massive lenghts must be transversed to get it done. HOWEVER, I know that oftentimes people who want their EX back are looking for nothing but an illusion of happiness, as opposed to the real thing.

Let’s face it: Getting over relationship habits can be troublesome. Separating thoughts from emotions is not always easy. In a break-up scenario, our ego tends to get in the way and further mess things up. It goes to say that oftentimes, people who are trying to get their ex back are just trying to prove themselves they really loved that person, and they’re good enough to keep that person happy, and it easily gets to a point where it seems as though their actually happiness depends on whether they can indeed get their ex back. However, I don’t think people really stop to wonder: “Am I better off on my own? Am I chasing after someone who genuinely deserves my commitment, or am I merely throwing a tantrum because I was dumped?“.

If more people were capable of seeing things in perspective, I’m sure the “Get my EX back” kind of products wouldn’t be so popular as they are nowadays. I can even recommend some great e-books for getting started on getting your EX back… but before doing so, I must urge you to take some time and think if that’s really what you want! If you realize you’re indeed chasing after love rather than hollow illusions and affections, I’m sure I’ll be able to help you.

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