Tagged as 'Break-ups'

What an “It’s Complicated” Facebook Status Can Mean

Facebook is an amazing website, with notable usefulness. You can use it to keep up with friends and acquaintances; you can rely on it as a personal networking tool. And of course… you can also take advantage of Facebook as a way to find new romantic interests! Sure, maybe the world’s largest social network was not exactly conceived as a dating platform. But truth of the matter, it does work like a charm to that effect. And let’s face it, if Facebook had not been intended for that kind of use, it wouldn’t include features such as “relationship status”. We all know this tidbit of information is prominent enough that it’s usually one of the first things you look at while visiting the profile of someone you know… or someone you’re planning to get to know. But what exactly does it mean when someone lists their relationship status as “It’s complicated”? [Read more →]

Women: How to get your Ex Boyfriend back

There are times in life when the best thing to do when a relationship ends… is just moving on with your life. But there are also times when it’s worth taking action and trying to get that special man back into your life. You have be very careful though with men, as they desire a challenge (thrill of the hunt) and will not respond to you begging to be with them again. If you’re serious about getting your ex boyfriend back, there are some general guidelines that you should keep in mind, to make sure you succeed doing so.

What you shouldn’t do if you really want your ex-boyfriend back.

Don’t act desperate, otherwise that will most likely push him away. You want to avoid all kinds of drama and emotional flair. You may think that bursting out in tears will make him feel sorry about leaving you behind, but it will most likely make him angry and uncomfortable. Flirting with him or submitting yourself to him physically may seem like a good idea, but it will more than likely have negative results.

Don’t start nagging him, otherwise you’ll come across as a stalker. Do not leave dozens of messages in his voice mail, do not text him each and every day asking for a second chance. Avoid acting as though you’re obsessed about him (even if you are), because that will just outright scare him. It may seem difficult, but you should try to keep your cool whenever you approach him or call him.

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How to Quickly Get Over Your “EX”

Change is possibly the only constant in life, and having problems coping with it is very common – especially when this change involves the end of a relationship. It’s fairly common for someone to have trouble getting over their exes and moving on with their life – sometimes it takes years. There is nothing wrong with that, and it’s only natural… but all the while, if this is something you can personally relate with – if you’re having trouble getting over your EX, you should make a real effort to get your life back on track, for no one’s sake but your own.

First step..

1) Get rid of all physical evidence: If you’re holding on to those pictures and memorabilia of you and your ex-other half, that really won’t help you stop thinking about that person. In fact, you should go over your house and remove all evidence that even vaguely reminds you of the relationship you’re trying to get through. There’s no need to get drastic and throw everything away, or burn it to ashes (although some people find that is cathartic), but you have to get that stuff in a box and out of your sight. If you can’t do this [Read more →]

Get your LIFE Back 4: Third time’s the charm.

The two stories I’ve told you so far may have given you the wrong impression, but I should say I’m not opposed to the concept of re-kindling a relationship and getting back together with your EX. However, I do think people should be careful about getting addicted to someone else, and they should always make sure they love the person they’re dating, rather than the idea of the person.

With that said, I’ll proceed to tell you the happiest story I know about a couple that really does seem to belong together. A couple that’s made of two people that utterly love each other, and who have been separated 3 times already. But each time they have sorted their differences and resumed their relationship. And I’m quite happy it turned out that way, because Anthony and Rose are the happiest couple I know.

They are now in their forties, Anthony and Rose. I’ve known them since I was a teenager, since they’re both childhood friends of my closest cousin. They have now been dating for maybe 15 years, and they have been separated three times. I clearly remember the first time it happened, it was back in 1998 when I had just got my drivers license. I remember I was ecstatic about that, and I rushed to the café where I used to hang about with my cousin and some of his friends.

Anthony and Rose were usually the disgustingly happy couple that always sat in the middle of the group, but that day something was off. [Read more →]

Get your LIFE back 3: When Stupidity Do Us Part.

The previous post in this series demonstrated how some couples would be better of separated, as opposed to growing addicted to their mutually inflicted misery. This post will tell a story that’s just the opposite: of a guy who grew addicted to his loneliness, and a girl who could never quite get over their separation.

Dave and Deni are  both in their mid-thirties, now. It was about 10 years ago, when they lived what I believe was the happiest time of their lives. That’s the time when they were together, and even though they refuse to admit it, I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen either of them happier, ever since.

I never knew exactly what brought about their breaking up. No one ever did, and sometimes I wonder if even they have a clear notion of the specific reasons that pushed them apart. I just know they were the perfect couple, back then. Or at least as perfect as any couple could get.

They were both the creative types. Dave was studying fine arts, Deni had dropped out of college and she was doing alright as a writer. They met each other in the summer of 1999, and they got married in the first day of the next year. [Read more →]

Get your LIFE back 2: Misery Loves Company!

Have you ever heard the saying “Misery loves Company?” For some people this is remarkably true; in fact, I know a couple who could easily inscribe this age-old adage in their front door. And it would perfectly describe their relationship.

I will refer to these people as Jack and Jill. Not because they would mind seeing their mutual misery exposed online, but simply as a matter of politeness. Jack and Jill have been together for as long as I know them – and they’re childhood friends of my parents’, I’m thirty years old… that will give you a good idea of how long they’ve been together. Practically forever. Definitely for much too long.

Don’t take me wrong, dear reader: I generally nurture a great respect for the sanctity of matrimony, and I deeply admire couples who successfully spend a lifetime together, and who build a mutually positive life project. But not Jack and Jill. I’ve never seem this couple build anything except for intrigue, reprieve and self-loathing.

The first time Jack and Jill broke up (that I remember), I think I was about 7 years old. I remember Jill came over to my parent’s house in a huge distress, crying and moaning as tough [Read more →]

Get your LIFE back 1: Not the same as “Get your EX Back”.

When a relationship ends, more often than not there’s a person who abandons the relationship – and another person who wishes the relationship wouldn’t have ended. It has been so from the dawn of humanity, and quite likely it will be so for as long as the human race endures. Breaking up is just a natural part of being in a relationship, in the same way that dying is a natural part of living.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a position where you suffered to see your boyfriend or girlfriend get out of your life, you surely have a good idea of what I’m talking about. If you are in such a position right now, maybe you’re reading this article looking for help. That a good thing, and you will get such help – but it may be in the form you expect. You see, in my opinion there are only two ways to escape your present suffering:

1) Deal with it. Accept you’re better off without that person; even though you may be suffering from romantic withdrawal, you should recognize your relationship wasn’t positive. If so, you need to focus on getting your life back.

2) Deal with it. If you can honestly say that your relationship was healthy and promising for both you and your partner, do something about it – but make sure you know what  you’re doing. Learn how to get your ex back.

3) Deal with it, but please do yourself a big favor and avoid making rash decisions and desperate moves. I’m well aware you’re suffering; but before you act, you need to stop and decide on the right course of action.

Ok, so to summarize our topics…. you really need to deal with it. First and foremost, you need to quit evading your pain; it’s there for a reason, and you can learn something from it. You can become a better person once you let your pain change you for the best. Just be honest with yourself, and don’t let yourself go sour on account of your suffering.

The most important thing you need to do right now is figuring out the most appropriate course of action – that’s before you deal with getting your life back. You should notice I’ve written get your LIFE back, not get your EX back. In some cases it will be the same thing, [Read more →]

Top 5 reasons why relationships fail!

This is all part of learning and growing up. We’ve all lived through the bad relationship cycle. You know how it goes… at first you’re enchanted with your latest hook-up and everything looks wonderful. Then you actually get to meet the other person, and soon enough the magic starts fading. Then one day you just find yourself thinking “what am I doing with this person? We don’t belong together!” – and that’s it! Break-up ensues.

In our fast-paced modern society, most people really don’t put much thought into this… but I really think they should. Learning to establish meaningful relationships (which aren’t just fleeting and/or carnal) is a vital part of growing up. And while it’s easier to assume that all the people we have dated were – in turn – wholly responsible for all the relationship failures we’ve endured, that’s not really a mature way of seeing things, is it?

It takes two persons to make a couple, and it takes to persons to break a couple. If you ever find yourself wondering if you could have acted differently to make your past relationships soar rather than sink, you’re going in the right direction! Here are some of the most common relationship mishaps you should keep an eye out for, when it comes to securing your next relationship:

5 – Lack of mutual respect.

Respect is oftentimes an elusive concept, you know? But nonetheless it’s a very important concept, remarkably so when it comes to relationships. And it’s very easy to assume we respect someone, when in fact we really don’t! If you want to make sure you’re in an actual relationship rather then a random and fleeting debauchery, you need to go at lengths to ensure you actually respect the person you’re dating.

4 – Not enough tolerance.

Sure… when a relationship starts everything is warm and fuzzy, right? But soon enough you’re cast back to reality, as you realize you’re dealing with an actual person with personal ideas and tastes and interests… which more often than not conflict with your own! Getting over such differences is extremely important, and you must learn to tolerate your sweetheart’s shortcomings if you expect her / him to do the same.

3 – Unrealistic expectations.

When starting a new relationship, it’s very easy to fall victim to our own unrealistic expectations. It’s just too easy to assume that person is completely perfect and see her as the next best thing since bread came sliced. Well, don’t do that. No one is perfect, and assuming your sugar-hoots is different will just set you on a course towards disappointment. Remember that you’re dating an actual human being, rather than your idea of a perfect human being.

2 – Mismatched sexual emphasis.

Different people place different importance in sex. Heck, the same person places varying importance on sex, depending on a number of factors. But as human beings we have an ability to adjust, as well as being reasonable. You should use this ability and try to encourage your partner to do the same. Because if one of the members of a couple places too much importance on sex, and the other one too little… well, I don’t have to explain why that’s a recipe for disaster, do I?

1 – Bad communication.

Sex is a wonderful form of communication for a couple… but by no means it’s the only one. Actual communication involves being able to strip down your anxieties and insecurities for the sake of reaching to that premium honey-bunny you’re dating. You can’t have good communication unless you achieve such a thing, much in the same way you can’t have satisfying carnal intercourse wearing a full-blown suit of armor! How’s that for a comparison?

If you’re the type who prefers going for safe over sorry, you should carefully consider whether you’ve been undermining your relationships by neglecting these 5 aspects. Unless of course, you don’t really care whether you’re relationship succeeds? If you don’t, here’s a newsflash: you’ll have to grow up… sooner or later!

Are you sure you want your EX back?

For most of us who have been left behind by our ex-lovers, this is a common reaction: going over inordinate lengths to figure out a way of restoring that relationship. It oftentimes feels like the right thing to do, but it’s not necessarily so. My experience has taught me that pursuing such goals, we sometimes just lose perspective and truly get out of range on who we really are. We’ll easily sacrifice our sense of self-worth, for the sake of chasing after a lost cause. Nothing good will come from this kind of scenario.

As such, it’s crucial to understand IF getting your ex back is REALLY what you want, before doing any attempt at re-captivating their heart.

If you see yourself getting lost in despair trying to figure out a way to get your ex back, here’s something I want you to consider beforehand: are you sure that’s really what you want? Are you sure you miss that person, or do you just miss being in a relationship? Also, are you at loss because your just life isn’t the same on your own, or did your ego just get offended because you got dumped? These are some of the questions you’d best contemplate before going after your ex; and you should make sure you’re honest figuring out the answers, or you’ll just be fooling yourself!

There’s something that I should set straight before further elaborating on this argument. You see, I don’t mean to propose that trying to get your ex back is always a bad idea. Much the other way around! Restoring a relationship can be very positive and uplifting, and you can become a better, happier, and more fulfilled person in the process. Rekindled relationships can sometimes get stronger than ever, and I think genuine affection is always worth fighting for: even if massive lenghts must be transversed to get it done. HOWEVER, I know that oftentimes people who want their EX back are looking for nothing but an illusion of happiness, as opposed to the real thing.

Let’s face it: Getting over relationship habits can be troublesome. Separating thoughts from emotions is not always easy. In a break-up scenario, our ego tends to get in the way and further mess things up. It goes to say that oftentimes, people who are trying to get their ex back are just trying to prove themselves they really loved that person, and they’re good enough to keep that person happy, and it easily gets to a point where it seems as though their actually happiness depends on whether they can indeed get their ex back. However, I don’t think people really stop to wonder: “Am I better off on my own? Am I chasing after someone who genuinely deserves my commitment, or am I merely throwing a tantrum because I was dumped?“.

If more people were capable of seeing things in perspective, I’m sure the “Get my EX back” kind of products wouldn’t be so popular as they are nowadays. I can even recommend some great e-books for getting started on getting your EX back… but before doing so, I must urge you to take some time and think if that’s really what you want! If you realize you’re indeed chasing after love rather than hollow illusions and affections, I’m sure I’ll be able to help you.

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