Tagged as 'Relationship Advice'

How to Have a Breakup Talk

There are two main strategies you can choose for acting out your frustration, when you think something is wrong in your relationship: essentially you can choose being childish or being mature. Both options are at once simple and complicated. For instance, being childish is easier because you won’t have to confront your fears or handle your emotions; this is all about spying, snooping and researching… which is actually more complicated than just sitting down and having a conversation. But when it comes to bottled up feelings, conversing is never really that easy, is it?

I’ve personally gone down the childish route most often (hence this blog), because I’ve found it takes almost super-human strength of character to follow the mature route. The mature route is actually a lot simpler because it merely involves communicating, but it’s also the hardest rout because it takes a certain degree of self-mastery to keep one’s emotions from blowing our sense away, while trying to have THAT conversation. You know, the one where you set your cards on the table and speak your heart out to your spouse – which is in fact what you should have been doing all along.

If you’re feeling insecure and you REALLY want to know whether something is wrong in your relationship, and whether or not your spouse is cheating on you… you really have to confront your fears and just bring yourself to TALK about it. It may sound overly simplistic, but it’s really all about talking it over! Granted, there’s a chance you won’t get an honest answer… but trust me on this one: the more genuinely honest you come across in your exposition, the likelier you are to receive an honest answer.

What sounds more mature?

a) “Honey… I really think something isn’t right, and we should try and talk about it”

or

b) “HOW COULD YOU!?! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOU $#”%”%!!! “?

There’s not much point in asking your spouse for the truth, if  you’re acting like the truth will make you go berserk, is there? That kind of attitude will just encourage your spouse to further deceive you. What you want to do is take stock of your feelings and put them out on the open with as much delicacy and humility as you possibly can. Just admit what you already know for sure: that something is off. That’s the first step towards re-opening the lines of communication; and you may not realize it yet, but those are the very same lines of communication that brought you together in the first place!

We’re all prone to picturing ourselves as victims of an ignoble fate… but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize how you’re always getting what you had coming for you in the first place! In your angry perspective, it may feel as though your spouse has all the blame for wrecking your relationship… but trust me, that’s never how it works in human relationships. It takes two to tango, you know: and likewise it takes two to build up relationship problems. There are always things that your spouse thinks you shouldn’t have done, and others she thinks that you should have. It may not be apparent to you, but if you ask her, she will be quite happy to let you know!

At this point, I suppose you have to choices: give up on your relationship, or do your best effort to save it. If you choose the latter, do your relationship yourself a favor make your best effort to stick to the mature road. Be honest, and most importantly, be humble. Be ready to admit you’re not perfect, and likewise admit you haven’t always been perfect. I think you’ll be surprised how acting mature will encourage your spouse to do the same, while acting childish will just entice your spouse to be childish as well.

Overcoming Relationship Breakup, the “opening move”

Overcoming relationship breakups can be extremely difficult. We here at Relationship Solutions know this very well and often receive emails about what to do with their depression, or that they just want to be back with their lover and be happy. Even if your spouse has cheated, it is always possible to patch things up if that is something you want. What matters most is happiness, and if you have felt that with your Ex, you can get it back. T.W Jackson, or as he nicknamed himself “T Dub’, is a very popular relationship advice guy. He has his own book called  The Magic of Making up which is an incredible step by step guide to getting your ex back and healing your broken heart. Watch the video and learn the “opening move” to getting your relationship turned around.

Common Relationship Problems

Money, Unfortunately: When people get married they often don’t realize that money is a very important variable and something that should be focused on before getting married. Not figuring out how incomes will go together and how people will live when they get married is something that is a large course of divorce and this can be important to watch for. Watching out for the causes of divorce can be something that will help you not have to become someone who is inside of a divorce, and this is something that you as a couple that is married should be looking to happen.

Problems In The Bedroom:
A married couple start out with a great sexual life, statistically. One thing that is running into problems is that a couple that just gets married is very active in sex, then later on in the marriage the sex life is not this pleasing and this can be a cause of divorce that couples should watch out for if they would like to stay married. Sometimes a couple can not share the same sexual preferences and the couple could of not found this out before the couple actually gets married and this is something that you need to watch for so it doesn’t not become one of the causes you have as a leading cause in your divorce.

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