Tagged as 'heart'

Best 2010 resolution: Be faithful to your own heart.

With the year of 2009 just drawing to an end, most people invariably run around looking for the perfect new year’s eve program. Within such a rampant, bickering rush to squeeze the most enjoyment out of a single evening, most couples fail to acknowledge that which would arguably be most important: reflecting on the past year and setting goals (personal as well as mutual) for the upcoming year.

Sure, many people out there still conform to the traditional new year’s resolutions. Some people decide they’ll be more responsible, others swear they’ll let go of bad habits or excessive body fat. That’s all good, and it’s definitely better than just running around in circles as headless chickens looking after irretrievable fulfillment over a single night. Regardless, those aren’t quite the most important resolutions one should adopt, in the advent of this new year.

My recommendation to 2010 is for you to get in touch with your heart
. Listen to it, be faithful to yourself. Ask yourself: Am I happy with the way I’m headed in my life, in my relationships? Is there something I’m leaving behind? Is there someone I would rather be with? If I’m happy with my spouse, and I putting my very best into this relationship? Am I holding back for no apparent reason? Those are the kind of questions you should really pause to consider, in the last few days of the year.

There are many lessons I hold dear, which I’ve learned from the sequence of years I’ve lived through. But the most important lesson is being faithful to one’s heart. You might have not realized this by now, but humans are exceptional and unceasing liars. We lie all the time to each other, and we lie the most to ourselves. We refuse listening to our hearts, we suppress our feelings for the sake of reason. And more often than not, we end up regretting it.

We indulge relationships that don’t bring us fulfillment. We sacrifice a much needed sense of belonging and harmony for trifle compensations such as a sticking with a beautiful (albeit shallow and insipid) wife, or a wealthy (but unaffectionate and arrogant) husband. We make all the wrong decisions by pursuing all the best motives. And generally we do it because we refuse to listen to the soft insistent voice that tries to warn us from within our own chest.

I don’t mean to propose that we’re all wrong in all relationships. I don’t mean to propose that we’re all inveterate liars. I DO mean to propose that the more we stay in tune with our own hearts, the more we’re faithful to our innermost feelings, the happier we will be in the long run. Further, I mean to propose this is probably the best time of the year to resolve following this kind of resolution, and it’s probably the best kind of resolution one should follow – and also one of the most elusive.

If nothing else, make up your mind to sort out your feelings in 2010. Know yourself, get acquainted with your true desires and emotions, and be unwavering in their pursuit. Quite probably in a year from now you’ll feel more comfortable in your shoes than ever before!

5 non-consummerist ideas for a perfect Christmas gift!

Ah… Christmas. The season of shopping and gluttony, where we all indulge and demand being indulged. While I don’t mean to propose there’s something wrong with giving materialistic presents to the people you love, I have thought of something you can use to greater effect, as a way to add some spice to both Christmas and your relationship.

You may want to offer presents as usual… but when it comes to your spouse or lover, I suggest you throw in some special gifts for a good measure. Just remember, Christmas is all about giving – not getting. If you decide to try some of these gifts make sure you do it wholeheartedly, without expecting for something in return. By doing so, rest assured some Christmas magic will take place, and you’ll be happier than you ever imagined possible.

All of these ideas for – let’s call it – complimentary Christmas gifts are absolutely free. None of them involves spending extra money, but they all involve spending some extra time. If you do it right it’s going to count as quality time, and it will genuinely help strengthen your relationship. If you’re feeling creative, don’t just say you’ll be doing so and so: you should come up with some “personal service” coupons and give them to your other half as a proof you’re serious about doing this.


1) Offer to cook AND do the dishes for the remaining days of the year.
Well, it’s only about a week until the end of the year, right? Even if you really hate cooking and doing the dishes… well, quite likely so does your spouse. Also, taking her to the restaurant doesn’t count. The idea behind this present is showing you’re willing to step up and roll your sleeves, as well as proving you know your way around the kitchen.

2) Give some coupons for extended massage sessions.
Sure, you may reason that you and your lover frequently indulge in mutual massaging. Well, mutual is not what you should aim for with this gift. It’s all about pleasing her, and being willing to neglect your comfort for the sake of hers. Make sure each massage is thorough, and make it last at least one hour. Be professional, make sure you don’t get kinky until you’ve provided a good service.

3) Ask her about her plans for a perfect day/night out.
Do you ever get in those typical affectionate arguments over the perfect plans for a day or night out? Yeah, except for Barbie and Ken there isn’t a couple who doesn’t routinely engage such discussions. Well, this gift calls for putting your preferences aside and just focusing on fulfilling your lover’s every whim and wish for a whole day or night of going out. And don’t just tag along … make sure you enjoy it, or at least pretend you do!

4) Spare a specific amount of service hours.
Print out a bunch of coupons with a big bold “1 hour free service” title and add “valid for anything from running errands to babysitting your cousin’s niece”. Make it real. Tell her you want to make up for all the times you evaded doing a favor for her, or when you were otherwise just feeling too lazy. Also, be a man. Be prepared to honor your word, whenever she gives you one of those coupons back. No excuses!

5) All of the above… and beyond! Nothing says “I love you” like being able to suppress your own whims for the sake of hers. If you really want to impress her, do all of the suggestions I’ve mentioned. Put your heart into it! Take some time to design some colorful service coupons and put them in a fancy envelope. Come up with additional offers you know she’ll like. Make it look like you’ve really put some thought into it, and show how serious you are about giving her some non-materialistic gifts as sign of your affection.

As you’ve probably noticed, the reasoning behind these gifts involves offering your help/support/company with something you’d normally hate doing. But hey, it’s Christmas! Just do your best to keep a happy face while obliging, and remember those are all things you should be doing on a regular basis anyway – that’s if you want to keep your relationship healthy, of course!

Hack your way into a Woman’s Heart!

So you’re one of those gullible souls who still think the way into a woman’s heart is soft-spoken and paved with chocolates and flowers? You poor thing. With that kind of attitude, I bet you’re not getting much luck in the realms of romance! It’s a brand new world out here in the XXI century, and new measures are called for, when it comes to courtship.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do some nice things to surprise your woman once in a while. However, all gifts pale in comparison with something modern women always look for in guys: self-confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself, no woman will ever respect you. And without earning a woman’s respect, you won’t ever be able to occupy the spotlight of her affection. So, this is your first priority:

1) Earn the respect of the woman you admire.

You might think this is easier said than done, but it’s actually the other way around. You won’t ever earn a woman’s respect and admiration with just hollow words: not in this day and age. Modern woman are smart, so you must be able to prove that you can walk the walk. Show your woman what  you’re all about! Prove her that you’re a man of fiber.

Ladies love men with a sense of purpose, men who have dreams and are capable of standing up for themselves. If you can demonstrate you’re that kind of guy, you’ll have completed the first major step in your journey towards her undivided attention. Now that you’ve proved you’re resolute, the time has come to really pull the move that makes her head spin:

2) Prove that you’re a flexible modern guy.

Any guy can easily brag and make himself look like the next best thing since bread came sliced. That’s just what guys do, and it’s a part of what women look for in a guy. However, most guys end up coming across as jerks and irritating the women they’re trying to seduce, when using this approach. Why? Simply because they don’t know when to stop.

You should think of confidence as the tool that will allow you to knock at the door in a woman’s heart and put your foot in. Now, if you want the door to open wide as well as the woman’s arms, you need to practice your flexibility. And with that, I mean that you basically need to prove that, despite being  a manly man, you’re by no means some kind of jerk. How do you do such a thing?

Easy. Listen to her, put some effort in getting to know her. Get romantic every once in a while. This is the stage where you want to be doing all the crazy old-fashioned stuff, such as buying her chocolates and stuffed animals. However, be careful not to over do it or you’ll come across as desperate or shallow. Show her that you’re just fine on your own, but all the while hint that you’d be better with her. Having done this, it’s time to move on to the final stage:

3) Surprise her by being utterly honest.

There’s a common pattern in modern women’s perception of men. You can ask some of your lady friends about it, if you want proof; you see, women are so accustomed to being hit on all the time, and being pushed around by all kinds of buckos, that they’ve generally developed a rather common stereotype of men: they think we’re all the same, and they think we’re all liars. And if you think about, they’re not 100% wrong on those hunches!

So, what you need to do in the last part of seduction is to show her that despite being a guy like any other, you’re also different. The best way of doing so is being honest! You’ll be surprised at how wide a woman’s heart can open up, in response to honesty. What you want to do is following the path of least resistance: rather than trying to trick her into believing you’re a different kind of guy… just admit that in some ways, you aren’t. You have manly cravings and thoughts, and that’s just natural!

Running away from your nature is a stupid thing to do. You need to show the woman you like that despite admittedly being somewhat of a jerk, you’re also a good guy. You strive towards doing the right thing, and you’re honest with people because you expect people to be honest with you. You’re the kind of guy who values open communication, and who expects that from other people.

Trust me, if you succeed in showing her that you’re really that kind of guy, her heart will melt quite rapidly, and her love will come pouring all over your quite naturally! Just try it out and find for yourself.