Cheating is something you do with your mind, not your body.

We should face it: our so-called modern society still enforces quite an infantile view of sex and relationships. Likewise, most of us are compelled to keep drawing lines between right and wrong, when sometimes it simply isn’t possible to make such clear-cut distinctions. Human behavior is a complex and multi-layered phenomenon, and we should keep ourselves from rationalizing too much, as well as over simplifying. Otherwise, we’ll just end up confusing ourselves and wallowing in unnecessary suffering.

For example, when a man engages a sexual encounter with another person besides his spouse, he’s committing adultery – right? So, this man is a big horrible cheater and his wife is an unfortunate victim, isn’t that so? Well, not necessarily. Not in my book, at least. First and foremost, we should remember that a couple is a essentially combination of two separate wills. For this reason, I believe it’s inaccurate to lay the blame for something on just one of the members of the couple.

Besides, we should remember that sex is something we do with our body, whereas marriage and love is something that calls for the whole of our being: of which sex is only a tiny fraction. [Read more →]

Hack your way into a Woman’s Heart!

So you’re one of those gullible souls who still think the way into a woman’s heart is soft-spoken and paved with chocolates and flowers? You poor thing. With that kind of attitude, I bet you’re not getting much luck in the realms of romance! It’s a brand new world out here in the XXI century, and new measures are called for, when it comes to courtship.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do some nice things to surprise your woman once in a while. However, all gifts pale in comparison with something modern women always look for in guys: self-confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself, no woman will ever respect you. And without earning a woman’s respect, you won’t ever be able to occupy the spotlight of her affection. So, this is your first priority:

1) Earn the respect of the woman you admire.

You might think this is easier said than done, but it’s actually the other way around. You won’t ever earn a woman’s respect and admiration with just hollow words: not in this day and age. Modern woman are smart, so you must be able to prove that you can walk the walk. Show your woman what  you’re all about! Prove her that you’re a man of fiber.

Ladies love men with a sense of purpose, men who have dreams and are capable of standing up for themselves. If you can demonstrate you’re that kind of guy, you’ll have completed the first major step in your journey towards her undivided attention. Now that you’ve proved you’re resolute, the time has come to really pull the move that makes her head spin:

2) Prove that you’re a flexible modern guy.

Any guy can easily brag and make himself look like the next best thing since bread came sliced. That’s just what guys do, and it’s a part of what women look for in a guy. However, most guys end up coming across as jerks and irritating the women they’re trying to seduce, when using this approach. Why? Simply because they don’t know when to stop.

You should think of confidence as the tool that will allow you to knock at the door in a woman’s heart and put your foot in. Now, if you want the door to open wide as well as the woman’s arms, you need to practice your flexibility. And with that, I mean that you basically need to prove that, despite being  a manly man, you’re by no means some kind of jerk. How do you do such a thing?

Easy. Listen to her, put some effort in getting to know her. Get romantic every once in a while. This is the stage where you want to be doing all the crazy old-fashioned stuff, such as buying her chocolates and stuffed animals. However, be careful not to over do it or you’ll come across as desperate or shallow. Show her that you’re just fine on your own, but all the while hint that you’d be better with her. Having done this, it’s time to move on to the final stage:

3) Surprise her by being utterly honest.

There’s a common pattern in modern women’s perception of men. You can ask some of your lady friends about it, if you want proof; you see, women are so accustomed to being hit on all the time, and being pushed around by all kinds of buckos, that they’ve generally developed a rather common stereotype of men: they think we’re all the same, and they think we’re all liars. And if you think about, they’re not 100% wrong on those hunches!

So, what you need to do in the last part of seduction is to show her that despite being a guy like any other, you’re also different. The best way of doing so is being honest! You’ll be surprised at how wide a woman’s heart can open up, in response to honesty. What you want to do is following the path of least resistance: rather than trying to trick her into believing you’re a different kind of guy… just admit that in some ways, you aren’t. You have manly cravings and thoughts, and that’s just natural!

Running away from your nature is a stupid thing to do. You need to show the woman you like that despite admittedly being somewhat of a jerk, you’re also a good guy. You strive towards doing the right thing, and you’re honest with people because you expect people to be honest with you. You’re the kind of guy who values open communication, and who expects that from other people.

Trust me, if you succeed in showing her that you’re really that kind of guy, her heart will melt quite rapidly, and her love will come pouring all over your quite naturally! Just try it out and find for yourself.

Top 5 reasons why relationships fail!

This is all part of learning and growing up. We’ve all lived through the bad relationship cycle. You know how it goes… at first you’re enchanted with your latest hook-up and everything looks wonderful. Then you actually get to meet the other person, and soon enough the magic starts fading. Then one day you just find yourself thinking “what am I doing with this person? We don’t belong together!” – and that’s it! Break-up ensues.

In our fast-paced modern society, most people really don’t put much thought into this… but I really think they should. Learning to establish meaningful relationships (which aren’t just fleeting and/or carnal) is a vital part of growing up. And while it’s easier to assume that all the people we have dated were – in turn – wholly responsible for all the relationship failures we’ve endured, that’s not really a mature way of seeing things, is it?

It takes two persons to make a couple, and it takes to persons to break a couple. If you ever find yourself wondering if you could have acted differently to make your past relationships soar rather than sink, you’re going in the right direction! Here are some of the most common relationship mishaps you should keep an eye out for, when it comes to securing your next relationship:

5 – Lack of mutual respect.

Respect is oftentimes an elusive concept, you know? But nonetheless it’s a very important concept, remarkably so when it comes to relationships. And it’s very easy to assume we respect someone, when in fact we really don’t! If you want to make sure you’re in an actual relationship rather then a random and fleeting debauchery, you need to go at lengths to ensure you actually respect the person you’re dating.

4 – Not enough tolerance.

Sure… when a relationship starts everything is warm and fuzzy, right? But soon enough you’re cast back to reality, as you realize you’re dealing with an actual person with personal ideas and tastes and interests… which more often than not conflict with your own! Getting over such differences is extremely important, and you must learn to tolerate your sweetheart’s shortcomings if you expect her / him to do the same.

3 – Unrealistic expectations.

When starting a new relationship, it’s very easy to fall victim to our own unrealistic expectations. It’s just too easy to assume that person is completely perfect and see her as the next best thing since bread came sliced. Well, don’t do that. No one is perfect, and assuming your sugar-hoots is different will just set you on a course towards disappointment. Remember that you’re dating an actual human being, rather than your idea of a perfect human being.

2 – Mismatched sexual emphasis.

Different people place different importance in sex. Heck, the same person places varying importance on sex, depending on a number of factors. But as human beings we have an ability to adjust, as well as being reasonable. You should use this ability and try to encourage your partner to do the same. Because if one of the members of a couple places too much importance on sex, and the other one too little… well, I don’t have to explain why that’s a recipe for disaster, do I?

1 – Bad communication.

Sex is a wonderful form of communication for a couple… but by no means it’s the only one. Actual communication involves being able to strip down your anxieties and insecurities for the sake of reaching to that premium honey-bunny you’re dating. You can’t have good communication unless you achieve such a thing, much in the same way you can’t have satisfying carnal intercourse wearing a full-blown suit of armor! How’s that for a comparison?

If you’re the type who prefers going for safe over sorry, you should carefully consider whether you’ve been undermining your relationships by neglecting these 5 aspects. Unless of course, you don’t really care whether you’re relationship succeeds? If you don’t, here’s a newsflash: you’ll have to grow up… sooner or later!

Are you sure you want your EX back?

For most of us who have been left behind by our ex-lovers, this is a common reaction: going over inordinate lengths to figure out a way of restoring that relationship. It oftentimes feels like the right thing to do, but it’s not necessarily so. My experience has taught me that pursuing such goals, we sometimes just lose perspective and truly get out of range on who we really are. We’ll easily sacrifice our sense of self-worth, for the sake of chasing after a lost cause. Nothing good will come from this kind of scenario.

As such, it’s crucial to understand IF getting your ex back is REALLY what you want, before doing any attempt at re-captivating their heart.

If you see yourself getting lost in despair trying to figure out a way to get your ex back, here’s something I want you to consider beforehand: are you sure that’s really what you want? Are you sure you miss that person, or do you just miss being in a relationship? Also, are you at loss because your just life isn’t the same on your own, or did your ego just get offended because you got dumped? These are some of the questions you’d best contemplate before going after your ex; and you should make sure you’re honest figuring out the answers, or you’ll just be fooling yourself!

There’s something that I should set straight before further elaborating on this argument. You see, I don’t mean to propose that trying to get your ex back is always a bad idea. Much the other way around! Restoring a relationship can be very positive and uplifting, and you can become a better, happier, and more fulfilled person in the process. Rekindled relationships can sometimes get stronger than ever, and I think genuine affection is always worth fighting for: even if massive lenghts must be transversed to get it done. HOWEVER, I know that oftentimes people who want their EX back are looking for nothing but an illusion of happiness, as opposed to the real thing.

Let’s face it: Getting over relationship habits can be troublesome. Separating thoughts from emotions is not always easy. In a break-up scenario, our ego tends to get in the way and further mess things up. It goes to say that oftentimes, people who are trying to get their ex back are just trying to prove themselves they really loved that person, and they’re good enough to keep that person happy, and it easily gets to a point where it seems as though their actually happiness depends on whether they can indeed get their ex back. However, I don’t think people really stop to wonder: “Am I better off on my own? Am I chasing after someone who genuinely deserves my commitment, or am I merely throwing a tantrum because I was dumped?“.

If more people were capable of seeing things in perspective, I’m sure the “Get my EX back” kind of products wouldn’t be so popular as they are nowadays. I can even recommend some great e-books for getting started on getting your EX back… but before doing so, I must urge you to take some time and think if that’s really what you want! If you realize you’re indeed chasing after love rather than hollow illusions and affections, I’m sure I’ll be able to help you.

Make sure to subscribe to this blog and stay tuned for further developments.

Don’t let your happiness depend on your spouse.

Being part of a meaningful and nurturing steady relationship is probably one of the most satisfying experiences anyone can strive towards as a human being. If you succeed in being part of such a relationship, everything else in your life will fall into place most easily. However, you should remember that every coin has two sides: and if on one side the positive aspects of a relationship can be extremely uplifting, on the other side the negative aspects about it can be terribly nerve-wrecking and soul-shattering.

By no means do I intend to propose that you should avoid getting into a relationship out of fear that something might go wrong and you’ll be left in the dumps. However, you should keep in mind that such thing MIGHT indeed happen – and there are subtle, but crucial shifts in perspective that you can adopt right now, that will not only safeguard your emotional integrity if something goes wrong, but they’ll simultaneously contribute to keeping your relationship from going sour and stale.

The degree to which your happiness depends on your spouse is equivalent to the degree to which you’ll feel miserable if something goes wrong.

If your happiness depends completely on your spouse you will feel absolutely miserable, should anything go wrong with your relationship! To every coin there is a flip-side, and I see too many people suffering unnecessarily because they fail to recognize this principle. Additionally, the more you depend on your loved one to be happy, the most likely you’ll suffocate your relationship quicker than you can utter “Woe, not wow. where have I failed, my precious? Please, PLEASE come back, or I promise I will slit my wrists because I can no longer live without you“.

You really think you’re in love, don’t you? If you do, you should know this: Love should be all about giving, and none about taking. Love is nothing to do with neediness. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to support your partner, rather than depend on her/him  to keep you happy. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to look after yourself so that your other half doesn’t have to worry about that. In such a relationship, you should feel happy and complete all on your own:

In a healthy relationship you’re not seeing someone out of a need for a affection, but simply because that person naturally makes your love blossom.

If you’re happy on your own and you CHOOSE being with someone else because you’re in love with that person, there’s a much better chance the relationship will thrive. By choosing this route, you’ll be unlikely to fall prey to unabashed jealousy, insecurities, emotional clinging, and a host of negative behaviors which tend to undermine a relationship.

Furthermore, you’ll be able effectively support your spouse and be there for her/him, without having a clouded judgment by your own wants and needs. If you don’t let your happiness depend on your spouse, you’ll have lots of happiness to spare! There’s an old adage that goes in the lines of:

Why do you go from door to door begging for a little joy, when you have a treasure of happiness in your own home?

In terms of a relationship, this gem of wisdom could be articulated as follows: why do you depend on your spouse to make you happy, when you could just get in tune with your inner joy and be able to pour endless happiness upon your relationship? Why do you choose to suffocate your relationship with your measly wants and needs, when you could just as easily nourish it, and be most happy on the long run?

I want you to think about this, and maybe you’ll realize that oftentimes our lack of perspective makes us behave in ways that drastically sabotage our chances of really being happy.

How to Have a Breakup Talk

There are two main strategies you can choose for acting out your frustration, when you think something is wrong in your relationship: essentially you can choose being childish or being mature. Both options are at once simple and complicated. For instance, being childish is easier because you won’t have to confront your fears or handle your emotions; this is all about spying, snooping and researching… which is actually more complicated than just sitting down and having a conversation. But when it comes to bottled up feelings, conversing is never really that easy, is it?

I’ve personally gone down the childish route most often (hence this blog), because I’ve found it takes almost super-human strength of character to follow the mature route. The mature route is actually a lot simpler because it merely involves communicating, but it’s also the hardest rout because it takes a certain degree of self-mastery to keep one’s emotions from blowing our sense away, while trying to have THAT conversation. You know, the one where you set your cards on the table and speak your heart out to your spouse – which is in fact what you should have been doing all along.

If you’re feeling insecure and you REALLY want to know whether something is wrong in your relationship, and whether or not your spouse is cheating on you… you really have to confront your fears and just bring yourself to TALK about it. It may sound overly simplistic, but it’s really all about talking it over! Granted, there’s a chance you won’t get an honest answer… but trust me on this one: the more genuinely honest you come across in your exposition, the likelier you are to receive an honest answer.

What sounds more mature?

a) “Honey… I really think something isn’t right, and we should try and talk about it”

or

b) “HOW COULD YOU!?! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOU $#”%”%!!! “?

There’s not much point in asking your spouse for the truth, if  you’re acting like the truth will make you go berserk, is there? That kind of attitude will just encourage your spouse to further deceive you. What you want to do is take stock of your feelings and put them out on the open with as much delicacy and humility as you possibly can. Just admit what you already know for sure: that something is off. That’s the first step towards re-opening the lines of communication; and you may not realize it yet, but those are the very same lines of communication that brought you together in the first place!

We’re all prone to picturing ourselves as victims of an ignoble fate… but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize how you’re always getting what you had coming for you in the first place! In your angry perspective, it may feel as though your spouse has all the blame for wrecking your relationship… but trust me, that’s never how it works in human relationships. It takes two to tango, you know: and likewise it takes two to build up relationship problems. There are always things that your spouse thinks you shouldn’t have done, and others she thinks that you should have. It may not be apparent to you, but if you ask her, she will be quite happy to let you know!

At this point, I suppose you have to choices: give up on your relationship, or do your best effort to save it. If you choose the latter, do your relationship yourself a favor make your best effort to stick to the mature road. Be honest, and most importantly, be humble. Be ready to admit you’re not perfect, and likewise admit you haven’t always been perfect. I think you’ll be surprised how acting mature will encourage your spouse to do the same, while acting childish will just entice your spouse to be childish as well.

4 Things to Checkup On

Ending a relationship is seldom a pleasant even in one’s life… especially when the relationship’s end is brought about by infidelity. Getting cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings one can experience while in a relationship, and yet it’s actually a feeling that can be most easily avoided. You may get puzzled with this statement but: I’m confident that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on. But before I tell you just what I mean, I’ll indulge your self-imposed doubts by laying out four main strategies that you can use to catch a cheating spouse.

1) Check up on your spouse’s car.

Okay, this is the first thing you want to do if you’re suspicious your spouse might be going on extra-marital activities right behind your back. There’s a number of things you should watch for, while checking up on a car: keep track of the mileage and try to see if your spouse is driving around a lot more than you’d expect. Check the GPS device for suspicious routes. Check the car for anything that might indicate marital foul play. Don’t look for obvious things like a XOXO note with lipstick on it, but focus on everything that looks strange, such as an odd magazine or book you’ve never seen your spouse carrying around.

2) Check up on your spouse’s computer.

If your spouse is cheating on you, there’s a good chance she’s using her personal computer as an instrument of deceit. What you want to do is install a spy software, inspect her Instant Message logs, try to hack into her e-mail accounts. Also… on a short notice, ask her to borrow the computer for a whole day, and try to notice if she looks nervous with the idea of what you may find in there. As you’re about to realize, quite often the best way to catch a cheater merely involves closely watching her reactions.

3) Check up on your spouse’s cell phone.

Similarly with the previous scenario, there are two ways in which you want to spy her cell phone: covertly and openly. For example, when she’s in the shower, take the plunge! Swiftly take her purse and look around her cell phone without her knowing. Also, on a different occasion do the opposite – just ask her to use her cell phone; pretend that yours is broken and tell her that you want to send some text messages to some common friends. Try to notice how she reacts to the idea of you snooping around her SMS mailbox; if she doesn’t seem the least worried, there’s probably not much to spy, anyway.

4) Check up on … yourself! (and be honest).

All the advice I just gave you in catching a cheating spouse are really simplistic and infantile, and I want you to consider how they all actually lean towards a single issue: lack of communication. If you feel compelled to spy your spouse’s car, computer or cell phone, then you likely have a feeling that something is off. If you have such a feeling and you can’t bring yourself to just talk about it and discuss the possibility that not everything is well… more likely than not, you have a problem.

If you’re bold enough to look into your heart: you’ll realize that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on.

Let me clarify something : my definition of “getting cheated on” is broader than you might imagine. As far as I’m concerned, getting cheated on is not what happens when your spouse engages romantic interests with another person. That’s pretty much the far end of cheating avenue, not the beginning; getting cheated on begins when your spouse starts losing interest in you ( for whatever reason), and fails to let you know. Because when communication starts failing in a relationship… that’s exactly when the relationship starts failing as well.

Track a Cell Phone for Free and in Real Time!

If your phone has built-in GPS (most do), has an unlimited data plan (internet needed), and runs Java MIDP-2.0 applications, check this out.

InstaMapper is a free service for tracking cell phones GPS locations and then displaying them in REAL-TIME on Google Maps for you to view. It’s the equivalent of sticking a GPS tracker on yourself (or someone else 😉 and then viewing where they go as it happens. InstaMapper also logs data locations, so you can see a picture of exactly where the phone has traveled in a time period. It’s entirely free and they store up to 100,000 locations per device.

Incredibly useful service, but the problem is most of us (or more specifically, our partners) don’t have cell phones that are capable of running the app, which is usually smartphones like the iPhone. It’s also sometimes impossible for a person to part with their personal self phone for any amount of time, so I have come up with an alternative.

Go to Best Buy or Target and they carry a Boost Mobile i425 prepaid phone for under $40. InstaMapper works with this phone and the unlimited data plan for this phone costs only 35 cents a day, so you should have yourself a fully working GPS tracking device all for only $40 bucks and a couple cents a day. The dimensions are like a thick candy bar, 5 in. x 2 in. x .5 in, so you can easily hide in a car… (oops, I didn’t say that).

SniperSpy – The Full Review!

WE NO LONGER RECOMMEND SNIPERSPY.

It will now notify anyone using the computer that it is being monitored, with no option to remove. Please check out KeyProwler for a better alternative.

 

SniperSpy Spy SoftwareCatching your spouse or monitoring someone is by far the hottest topic on my blog. When people ask me what the best PC spy software is, I almost always recommend SniperSpy. I used it successfully 6 months ago and it is amazingly effective for stealthy remote monitoring. Many people have asked me specific questions about SniperSpy in which I wasn’t entirely sure, so I decided I should do a complete review! I will run down exactly how to use it to catch a cheater and whether it is the right choice for you.

SniperSpy has some very unique features that give it huge appeal to curious investigators like yourself. One of these features is that it installs silently, hides itself from being detected, and shows no indication that the computer is being monitored. This makes it the most stealthy spy software of any I have seen.

[Read more →]

Learn How to Trace a Suspicious Cell Phone Number

Cell phones are such a huge method of communication, practically replacing landline phones in recent years. Let’s face it; almost everyone has one. Unfortunately, they make it much easier for a cheaters to cheat. This is due to the fact that most individuals remain in close proximity of their phones, at all times.

If you do however get a hold of their cell phone and are suspicious about a number you find, there is something you can do. This is where a large reverse phone directory like ReversePhoneDetective.com can become your best friend. Enter in the number you want to know about and they can provide you an immense amount of public information including name, address, criminal record, job, credit, and any other public information. They offer a 100% guarantee if you’re not satisfied with the results.

(If your search does not produce results a RPD staff member will continue the search at no extra charge. If they are unsuccessful, you will receive an immediate refund… no questions asked.)

Their database is one of the most comprehensive and largest in the industry today. Many other websites of this kind only offer very basic information such as name and address and only LANDLINE phone numbers or outdated information.

If you suspect your spouse is having an affair, grab their cell phone and look for suspicious numbers!