As such, it’s crucial to understand IF getting your ex back is REALLY what you want, before doing any attempt at re-captivating their heart.

If you see yourself getting lost in despair trying to figure out a way to get your ex back, here’s something I want you to consider beforehand: are you sure that’s really what you want? Are you sure you miss that person, or do you just miss being in a relationship? Also, are you at loss because your just life isn’t the same on your own, or did your ego just get offended because you got dumped? These are some of the questions you’d best contemplate before going after your ex; and you should make sure you’re honest figuring out the answers, or you’ll just be fooling yourself!

There’s something that I should set straight before further elaborating on this argument. You see, I don’t mean to propose that trying to get your ex back is always a bad idea. Much the other way around! Restoring a relationship can be very positive and uplifting, and you can become a better, happier, and more fulfilled person in the process. Rekindled relationships can sometimes get stronger than ever, and I think genuine affection is always worth fighting for: even if massive lenghts must be transversed to get it done. HOWEVER, I know that oftentimes people who want their EX back are looking for nothing but an illusion of happiness, as opposed to the real thing.

Let’s face it: Getting over relationship habits can be troublesome. Separating thoughts from emotions is not always easy. In a break-up scenario, our ego tends to get in the way and further mess things up. It goes to say that oftentimes, people who are trying to get their ex back are just trying to prove themselves they really loved that person, and they’re good enough to keep that person happy, and it easily gets to a point where it seems as though their actually happiness depends on whether they can indeed get their ex back. However, I don’t think people really stop to wonder: “Am I better off on my own? Am I chasing after someone who genuinely deserves my commitment, or am I merely throwing a tantrum because I was dumped?“.

If more people were capable of seeing things in perspective, I’m sure the “Get my EX back” kind of products wouldn’t be so popular as they are nowadays. I can even recommend some great e-books for getting started on getting your EX back… but before doing so, I must urge you to take some time and think if that’s really what you want! If you realize you’re indeed chasing after love rather than hollow illusions and affections, I’m sure I’ll be able to help you.

Make sure to subscribe to this blog and stay tuned for further developments.

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By no means do I intend to propose that you should avoid getting into a relationship out of fear that something might go wrong and you’ll be left in the dumps. However, you should keep in mind that such thing MIGHT indeed happen – and there are subtle, but crucial shifts in perspective that you can adopt right now, that will not only safeguard your emotional integrity if something goes wrong, but they’ll simultaneously contribute to keeping your relationship from going sour and stale.

The degree to which your happiness depends on your spouse is equivalent to the degree to which you’ll feel miserable if something goes wrong.

If your happiness depends completely on your spouse you will feel absolutely miserable, should anything go wrong with your relationship! To every coin there is a flip-side, and I see too many people suffering unnecessarily because they fail to recognize this principle. Additionally, the more you depend on your loved one to be happy, the most likely you’ll suffocate your relationship quicker than you can utter “Woe, not wow. where have I failed, my precious? Please, PLEASE come back, or I promise I will slit my wrists because I can no longer live without you“.

You really think you’re in love, don’t you? If you do, you should know this: Love should be all about giving, and none about taking. Love is nothing to do with neediness. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to support your partner, rather than depend on her/him  to keep you happy. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to look after yourself so that your other half doesn’t have to worry about that. In such a relationship, you should feel happy and complete all on your own:

In a healthy relationship you’re not seeing someone out of a need for a affection, but simply because that person naturally makes your love blossom.

If you’re happy on your own and you CHOOSE being with someone else because you’re in love with that person, there’s a much better chance the relationship will thrive. By choosing this route, you’ll be unlikely to fall prey to unabashed jealousy, insecurities, emotional clinging, and a host of negative behaviors which tend to undermine a relationship.

Furthermore, you’ll be able effectively support your spouse and be there for her/him, without having a clouded judgment by your own wants and needs. If you don’t let your happiness depend on your spouse, you’ll have lots of happiness to spare! There’s an old adage that goes in the lines of:

“Why do you go from door to door begging for a little joy, when you have a treasure of happiness in your own home?“

In terms of a relationship, this gem of wisdom could be articulated as follows: why do you depend on your spouse to make you happy, when you could just get in tune with your inner joy and be able to pour endless happiness upon your relationship? Why do you choose to suffocate your relationship with your measly wants and needs, when you could just as easily nourish it, and be most happy on the long run?

I want you to think about this, and maybe you’ll realize that oftentimes our lack of perspective makes us behave in ways that drastically sabotage our chances of really being happy.

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I’ve personally gone down the childish route most often (hence this blog), because I’ve found it takes almost super-human strength of character to follow the mature route. The mature route is actually a lot simpler because it merely involves communicating, but it’s also the hardest rout because it takes a certain degree of self-mastery to keep one’s emotions from blowing our sense away, while trying to have THAT conversation. You know, the one where you set your cards on the table and speak your heart out to your spouse – which is in fact what you should have been doing all along.

If you’re feeling insecure and you REALLY want to know whether something is wrong in your relationship, and whether or not your spouse is cheating on you… you really have to confront your fears and just bring yourself to TALK about it. It may sound overly simplistic, but it’s really all about talking it over! Granted, there’s a chance you won’t get an honest answer… but trust me on this one: the more genuinely honest you come across in your exposition, the likelier you are to receive an honest answer.

What sounds more mature?

a) “Honey… I really think something isn’t right, and we should try and talk about it”

or

b) “HOW COULD YOU!?! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOU $#”%”%!!! “?

There’s not much point in asking your spouse for the truth, if  you’re acting like the truth will make you go berserk, is there? That kind of attitude will just encourage your spouse to further deceive you. What you want to do is take stock of your feelings and put them out on the open with as much delicacy and humility as you possibly can. Just admit what you already know for sure: that something is off. That’s the first step towards re-opening the lines of communication; and you may not realize it yet, but those are the very same lines of communication that brought you together in the first place!

We’re all prone to picturing ourselves as victims of an ignoble fate… but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize how you’re always getting what you had coming for you in the first place! In your angry perspective, it may feel as though your spouse has all the blame for wrecking your relationship… but trust me, that’s never how it works in human relationships. It takes two to tango, you know: and likewise it takes two to build up relationship problems. There are always things that your spouse thinks you shouldn’t have done, and others she thinks that you should have. It may not be apparent to you, but if you ask her, she will be quite happy to let you know!

At this point, I suppose you have to choices: give up on your relationship, or do your best effort to save it. If you choose the latter, do your relationship yourself a favor make your best effort to stick to the mature road. Be honest, and most importantly, be humble. Be ready to admit you’re not perfect, and likewise admit you haven’t always been perfect. I think you’ll be surprised how acting mature will encourage your spouse to do the same, while acting childish will just entice your spouse to be childish as well.

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1) Check up on your spouse’s car.

Okay, this is the first thing you want to do if you’re suspicious your spouse might be going on extra-marital activities right behind your back. There’s a number of things you should watch for, while checking up on a car: keep track of the mileage and try to see if your spouse is driving around a lot more than you’d expect. Check the GPS device for suspicious routes. Check the car for anything that might indicate marital foul play. Don’t look for obvious things like a XOXO note with lipstick on it, but focus on everything that looks strange, such as an odd magazine or book you’ve never seen your spouse carrying around.

2) Check up on your spouse’s computer.

If your spouse is cheating on you, there’s a good chance she’s using her personal computer as an instrument of deceit. What you want to do is install a spy software, inspect her Instant Message logs, try to hack into her e-mail accounts. Also… on a short notice, ask her to borrow the computer for a whole day, and try to notice if she looks nervous with the idea of what you may find in there. As you’re about to realize, quite often the best way to catch a cheater merely involves closely watching her reactions.

3) Check up on your spouse’s cell phone.

Similarly with the previous scenario, there are two ways in which you want to spy her cell phone: covertly and openly. For example, when she’s in the shower, take the plunge! Swiftly take her purse and look around her cell phone without her knowing. Also, on a different occasion do the opposite – just ask her to use her cell phone; pretend that yours is broken and tell her that you want to send some text messages to some common friends. Try to notice how she reacts to the idea of you snooping around her SMS mailbox; if she doesn’t seem the least worried, there’s probably not much to spy, anyway.

4) Check up on … yourself! (and be honest).

All the advice I just gave you in catching a cheating spouse are really simplistic and infantile, and I want you to consider how they all actually lean towards a single issue: lack of communication. If you feel compelled to spy your spouse’s car, computer or cell phone, then you likely have a feeling that something is off. If you have such a feeling and you can’t bring yourself to just talk about it and discuss the possibility that not everything is well… more likely than not, you have a problem.

If you’re bold enough to look into your heart: you’ll realize that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on.

Let me clarify something : my definition of “getting cheated on” is broader than you might imagine. As far as I’m concerned, getting cheated on is not what happens when your spouse engages romantic interests with another person. That’s pretty much the far end of cheating avenue, not the beginning; getting cheated on begins when your spouse starts losing interest in you ( for whatever reason), and fails to let you know. Because when communication starts failing in a relationship… that’s exactly when the relationship starts failing as well.

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InstaMapper is a free service for tracking cell phones GPS locations and then displaying them in REAL-TIME on Google Maps for you to view. It’s the equivalent of sticking a GPS tracker on yourself (or someone else and then viewing where they go as it happens. InstaMapper also logs data locations, so you can see a picture of exactly where the phone has traveled in a time period. It’s entirely free and they store up to 100,000 locations per device.

Incredibly useful service, but the problem is most of us (or more specifically, our partners) don’t have cell phones that are capable of running the app, which is usually smartphones like the iPhone. It’s also sometimes impossible for a person to part with their personal self phone for any amount of time, so I have come up with an alternative.

Go to Best Buy or Target and they carry a Boost Mobile i425 prepaid phone for under $40. InstaMapper works with this phone and the unlimited data plan for this phone costs only 35 cents a day, so you should have yourself a fully working GPS tracking device all for only $40 bucks and a couple cents a day. The dimensions are like a thick candy bar, 5 in. x 2 in. x .5 in, so you can easily hide in a car… (oops, I didn’t say that).

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SniperSpy has some very unique features that give it huge appeal to curious investigators like yourself. One of these features is that it installs silently, hides itself from being detected, and shows no indication that the computer is being monitored. This makes it the most stealthy spy software of any I have seen.

Stealthier.. how?

In the US, computer monitoring laws are gradually putting pressure on spy software companies to make it harder to to monitor a person without their permission. Many other spy software have been forced to add alerts and messages that indicate the computer is being monitored, but not SniperSpy. They want their software to be as useful and functional as it should be, and leave it up to the customer to not misuse it. Computer monitoring law is still very unclear on subjects like whether you can monitor a computer you own without the person’s consent, but if you’re going into divorce court and you have proof of cheating because of SniperSpy, the judge is not interested in whether the information was obtained within the law – it is concrete evidence of infidelity. My point is most spy software companies have bowed under the pressure, but SniperSpy has simply moved their company overseas and kept their software stealthy.

How it works

SniperSpy creates a program they call a “module” that, when ran on a computer, will monitor that computer and upload the information to SniperSpy’s website for your viewing. Deployment is an essential step and basically involves getting the person to run the module on their computer. The most common way this is done is via email or sent via instant message from you along with a convincing reason to run the file on their computer, for example “this will make your computer faster” or “there is a new virus out and the program will prevent it”, etc. As soon as the module is executed on a computer, it immediately begins logging and uploading information. You can then simply login to your SniperSpy account from anywhere in the world to view the activity. SniperSpy even has a “live control” feature that will allow you to view the computer’s files, shutdown the computer, and other cool features. If you want to see exactly how online control panel looks, here is a demo.

The module is super fast to create and takes about 1 minute. I made a slideshow of that process below!

Effectiveness

Ok, so how effective is SniperSpy? Once you’ve got the module executed on the target machine, it begins logging keystrokes, websites visited, internet searches, file changes,  instant message chats, and taking screenshots of computer activity. I decided to install the module locally on my laptop which my girlfriend often uses. After monitoring the computer for a few days, I logged into the control panel to see what activity had occured. The first thing I noticed was that the control panel was very sluggish, taking around 10 seconds everytime I wanted to look at something different. While this was annoying, it really didn’t affect the information that had been logged. A number of websites had been visited such as myspace.com, tmz.com, hotmail.com, and I could see every key that was pressed while on those sites (including passwords entered). I then browsed over to the screenshot logs. A screenshot had been taken every 5 minutes (300 seconds), but none of the screenshots had a screenshot of her logged into myspace. I realized that every 5 minutes is too long of a time to capture myspace messages or emails that get read and then deleted, so I changed the capture interval to 10 seconds. In a single day, this maxed out the 100 screenshot limit, so you will either need to upgrade your screenshot limit or do what I did – look at the screenshot logs soon after she had checked her email/myspace. After that, there was nothing I couldn’t find out.

After a week of testing, I only noticed a few problems.

-Sometimes the keyboard input will “lag” producing a 1 second delay in the action desired from your keyboard. Basically, gaming sessions or typing long essays can be slightly annoying to the person being monitored. I tested this on two different computers and same problem – it is probably just a bug that will be fixed later. (fixed in latest version 7.0)
-The online control panel website was pretty slow when I tested, taking up to a minute to communicate with the monitored computer for some operations. Annoying, but probably because they have so many logs on the server. (fixed… extremely fast now)
-Module is detected by some virus scanners, but not the big names Norton and McAfee used by 90% of users. I also had no problem emailing it via Hotmail, Yahoo, and Gmail as an attachment. Here are the results of the virus scan 4/24 (16% detection rate): http://scanner.novirusthanks.org/index.php?session=63626119286135876924093614532931297041423344567

If you are trying to convince someone to run the module and their computer has a virus scanner or firewall, you might want to give them a reason to turn those off and then run the module you sent them. Just say it’s an important windows patch for your computer .

Overall, SniperSpy is a very usefull product and absolutely perfect for monitoring a computer you don’t have physical access to. The online control panel makes it ultra portable requiring no install, extremely stealthy, and at $79 it’s a steal.

www.sniperspy.com

Grade: A-

Update: I’ve been informed by a reader of my blog that there is a secret coupon code for 25% off, that’s $20 off! Too bad I missed out on it. Enter “RXS-SPY25″ on the second order page. Act fast because I don’t know when they will remove the promo!

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If you do however get a hold of their cell phone and are suspicious about a number you find, there is something you can do. This is where a large reverse phone directory like ReversePhoneDetective.com can become your best friend. Enter in the number you want to know about and they can provide you an immense amount of public information including name, address, criminal record, job, credit, and any other public information. They offer a 100% guarantee if you’re not satisfied with the results.

(If your search does not produce results a RPD staff member will continue the search at no extra charge. If they are unsuccessful, you will receive an immediate refund… no questions asked.)

Their database is one of the most comprehensive and largest in the industry today. Many other websites of this kind only offer very basic information such as name and address and only LANDLINE phone numbers or outdated information.

If you suspect your spouse is having an affair, grab their cell phone and look for suspicious numbers!

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Buy them a new phone for Christmas and install spysoftware on it to monitor all the texts messages, phone calls, and even where they actually travel when they go out. It doesn’t look suspicious (hey, it’s christmas) and you just bought a nice gift for them and yourself! Read our review of the top 3 mobile spy software and here’s an idea of some of the phones it will work with.

New years is approaching soon and did you know that the start of a new year is when most couples break up and change lives forever? It must be something to do with “new years resolutions” and wanting to be happy that makes one person in the relationship want to separate, but the research also showed that the spouses who left had previously had thoughts of leaving or had been unfaithfull during the previous year (85% of the time), which shows that new years is more of a catalyst to separation. This is a good reason to know more about what they are doing before the shit hits the fan.

Happy Holidays and best wishes everyone!

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This might come across as a harsh thing to say, but it’s true. From time immemorial, human males have been hunters, and human females have been gathers; in the primitive days, men were in charge of hunting down animals, and women were fit to stay in the cave and look after the children. This just goes to say… men have a genetic predisposition to spread their seeds in order to assure survival of the species, while women have a genetic predisposition for watching over the sacred temple: home.

Rest assured though… I’m not trying to say that it’s okay for men to cheat because they are just following their genetic programs. Any man who uses such argument to his defense is foolish, and he has clearly forgotten the days of prehistoric caves are long gone. But still… you should keep in mind that sometimes men will cheat not because they’re unhappy with their relationships, but simply because it’s just… something they do. Granted, if you’ve been victim of a cheating husband this logic will do you no good, but it might set you on the path to setting things straight.

Okay, so men cheat and sometimes it’s something that just comes along with their chromosomes and genital appendages… but all the while you should try to understand, but not just forgive them unless they really put some work into it. If you’re considering the option of giving your man a chance to prove what he’s really worth, here are three essential guidelines.

1. Don’t just let it slip by. He screwed up, and if he wants you back he must be able to prove that he’s truly, genuinely sorry about his wrong ways. Naturally, saying “I’m sorry” is easy, but proving it is not so simple. However, if he really loves you, he will go out of his way to restore your relationship.

2. You will make him come out straight, and you will have to face it. You should make him tell every little detail about his cheating… who he cheated with, when it came about, how long it happened, and WHY did he do it. Unless he is able to answer honestly to all these questions, you should just let him go or face the same in the future.

3. Everything changes, and this time he will have to earn your trust. That means starting to let you in on his detailed routine, his personal interests and whatever he may be doing behind your back. It will do no good to painstakingly hound him, but you will have to get in the know concerning his lifestyle: no more secrets, no more hiding.

Getting cheated on might sound like a terrible thing now, but trust me: it could have meant nothing… OR it could have meant that something was very wrong in your relationship. Understanding what happened – and why – is extremely important to set things straight. When all is said and done, your relationship could actually improve once you eventually get over the betrayal.

If you value having an honest, true relationship, you will be able to forgive your cheating husband, in time and provided he makes good effort. Furthermore, you should know that many relationships actually get stronger and more honest once you’ve succeeded in forgiving, understanding and managing what has happened… as well as making sure it won’t happen again. Just keep in mind the greatest betrayal is the betrayal of trust.

If you’ve been trying to recover your marriage but nothing is helping, there are things you could be doing to guarentee you recover your marriage and deal with these issues. The Save My Marriage course has helped save thousands of marriages by telling you exactly what to do and it works for everyone.

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When it comes to hacking email passwords like Yahoo, there are 2 foolproof methods to do it. Spying and Phishing. They are both methods of social engineering, or in other words, the target unknowingly gives you their password. The only people that know the password are Yahoo and the target themselves, so who do you think it is easier to get from? While there are other ways to hack a yahoo password, the odds are so low it’s not even funny. If you want to know more about the other non-realistic ways to hack password and why they don’t work, read The Truth about Password Hacking/Cracking.

So, here is how you hack yahoo:

Spying (cost money)

Almost everyone logs into their yahoo account through a computer, usually their own. That means one of the people that DOES know the password is the computer it’s being entered on, but of course this information is not remembered by the computer unless Spy Software has snuck onto it. Getting spy software onto the computer is easy, especially if you have physical access to it. Can you count how many times your computer has gotten a virus or suspicious email? It’s the same thing.

So what’s the best spy software to use?

If you have physical access to the computer, you are practically guaranteed the password. A good program is completely stealthy with a host of features, which I recommend you get AceSpy. It’s an advanced spy software mainly for monitoring your kids or employees silently and discreetly. There are also some free keyloggers out there, but I was unable to find one that was stealthy and they are really feature limited. AceSpy has a host of features such as websites visited, instant messenger chat logs, email recording, and even stores screenshots and a unique surveillance mode feature which records a movie of their actions. This can often be better than just having the Yahoo mail password, as deleted emails and other information can be recovered from the screenshots when you otherwise couldn’t.

If you need to hack someone remotely via the internet, there’s a program from the same company called SniperSpy. The difference between the programs, and this is the really great thing, is that SniperSpy is remotely deployable. That means that you can send it’s module via email or file transfer and it will begin monitoring their computer! All of the data it gathers is stored online and can be accessed via their website which means you won’t have to worry about software that doesn’t install on your computer for some reason – all you need is a web browser and the internet to access the Spy Control Panel. This is the program I used on my girlfriend and I was able to get proof of what I suspected. It’s got the same features as AceSpy plus a ton more, and is so stealthy it bypasses firewalls and antivirus because it’s a commercial product.

Phishing (Fake Login Pages)

Phishing is mostly used on a wider scale to target a large amount of yahoo accounts. For example, the most common way of phishing is done by email where the target receives an email message that appears to have come from Yahoo themselves (it’s actually very easy to forge an email sender). In the message, there is always a story of an issue with your account and it asking you to verify your account at the link below – this is where the hacking happens. The person thinks the link is taking them to the official yahoo website, but most people don’t notice the URL is slightly or even completely different. The target is taken to a yahoo login page that looks authentic, and as soon as they enter their details and hit submit, the password is known to the hacker. Phishing is not legal in any circumstance because you are impersonating yahoo and copywriting their page by creating a fake login, but there is literally no enforcement of this and I know of no one being arrested or getting in trouble (if you do, feel free to comment). It is also limited to only giving you the password (unlike spying) and it is meant for those with above average computer skills to setup. If you are interested in doing it this way, access the instructions page here ( Enter your cell phone number and you will receive a text message with the instructions. The ringtones offer is fake and wont charge you, it’s to hide the phishing instructions from authorities.).

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