Tagged as 'Relationship Advice'

5 ways to know if that girl is into you!

Since I know there are readers out there who have been out of a relationship for some time now, it’s probably a good idea to go back to basics! I’ve rounded up the top 5 tell-tale signs that a girl in interested in a guy. For some of you this may come as second nature, but for others it may not be as obvious. Either way, make sure to pay close attention to the girl you like, because there are always cues showing it’s ok to go ahead and flirt!

1) How she looks at you.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul. Probably the biggest cliché of them all, but still remarkably true! While trying to figure out if a girl has romantic feelings about you, it’s not just about noticing if she looks at you… it’s more important to watch how she looks at you, and most importantly – how she looks away from you. You want to pay attention to affectionate expressions, as well as a little shyness when you confront her gaze. Those are some of the best visual indicators a girl may be interested in something beyond friendship.

2) Those curiously adventurous hands.

There are many girls who have a habit of touching other people while talking to them. So, just because she pokes you in the arm occasionally, don’t assume it means something. Rather, you should watch for patterns of behavior. For example, does she seem to touch you more frequently than she touches others? Does she employ specific gestures when touching you? Most importantly, does her touch seem to be accompanied by a glitter in her eye, or a warm fuzzy tone in her voice?

3) Standing out from the crowd?

When a girl first starts developing affection towards a guy, she has a special way of making him stand out from a crowd… in the best possible way. Sometimes she will compliment you on something trivial, other times she will point out some of your qualities for no apparent reason. She may tend to keep an eye out for you and talk with you more frequently than anyone else. That’s the kind of behavior that usually indicates that girl is into you.

4) Common courtship ticks.

While wondering whether you’re interested on her, a girl will invariably tend to engage specific ticks without even realizing. Generally speaking, she will be performing small but noticeable gestures such as flicking her hair, moistening her lips or casually adjusting her outfit. If she appears to be doing any of these things too frequently, you can be almost certain that something is going on in her mind and heart.

5) Closely watch her friends.

Most girls tend to confide in their close friends, when their romantic interest is sparked. So rather than focusing on the girl, you also want to look around for outside signs that she might be flirting. If her friends are whispering and smiling while looking at you both, especially if she just approached you casually… rest assured, you’re in for romance! Make sure you enjoy it.

These are some of the most basic indicators of female affection. You may think you got them all figured out, but you probably don’t. Remember, thinking about playing and getting out in the field are entirely different matters. So if you’re looking to score next time your out courting… just stick to the basics, pay close attention to subtle details, and I guarantee your romantic skills will get noticeably sharpened.

7 things you can do today to make her happy!

This is one of those things that we tend to realize only when it’s too late. In a blooming relationship, many people have a natural way of taking their romantic partners for granted. While such thing could be interpreted as a sign of trust, it’s not entirely pleasant for the member of the couple who ends up feeling neglected. And generally, this is one of those things that slowly corrodes a relationship that otherwise might grow into something good.

Absent-mindedness is the kind of trouble that usually sets in when the early relationship rush is through. Also, in my opinion it’s guys who are most prone to get “distracted”, while girls are likeliest to feel as though they no longer feel “appreciated”. If you want to skip over this extremely common relationship blockage, here are some suggestions that you can try right away:


  • Call her up on the phone – If you’re calling her because you want to make arrangements for meeting with her later or ask him about something specific, it doesn’t count. You need to occasionally call her with no other purpose than listing to her voice and express your affection towards her. Just like in the early stages of the relationship, remember?
  • Steal a flower – Buying her flowers is a really nice thing to do, but it reeks of planning. You want to show her that she frequently pops up on your mind, and that the feelings she inspires make you want to live impulsively. Stealing a single flower from a garden (public or otherwise) is a good way of surprising her!
  • Buy her some chocolate – If there’s something that every world enjoys as much as romance, that’s chocolate. That’s way getting her an interesting chocolate is one of the top romantic moves you can make. Just stay away from cheap chocolates or bulk packages. You want to get her a nice chocolate she would normally not get for herself.
  • Do some compliments – Every single woman loves getting compliments, and most guys tend to forget about that when they’ve grown used to a girl’s company. Don’t do that. When you thinks she looks great, tell her – don’t assume she knows that. Likewise, if she got a new dress or hairstyle… tell her how sexy it makes her look.
  • Ask about her day – For most guys, remarking their daily trifles is not terribly important. For most girls, it really is. And it makes a lot of difference whether you’re willing to listen to her daily tidbits; most importantly, it makes a difference if you’re interested. Be interested. Ask her about her day, and make sure you listen to the answer.
  • Offer your help – Come on, let’s face it. Despite living in the XXI century, we all behave like cavemen now and then. I know many guys who never lift a finger to do the dishes, or set the table. Don’t be like that. Try to be supportive of your girlfriend and participate in the household tasks.
  • Say you don’t take her for granted – Sometimes, it doesn’t even take a king gesture or a token of appreciation to show your lady that she still rocks your world. Sometimes, it’s best to just tell her! Talk with her, hold her hand and just say you really don’t take her for granted. Apologize for you occasional absent-mindedness. Sometimes, keeping a girl happy is really as simple as that!

Cheating is something you do with your mind, not your body.

We should face it: our so-called modern society still enforces quite an infantile view of sex and relationships. Likewise, most of us are compelled to keep drawing lines between right and wrong, when sometimes it simply isn’t possible to make such clear-cut distinctions. Human behavior is a complex and multi-layered phenomenon, and we should keep ourselves from rationalizing too much, as well as over simplifying. Otherwise, we’ll just end up confusing ourselves and wallowing in unnecessary suffering.

For example, when a man engages a sexual encounter with another person besides his spouse, he’s committing adultery – right? So, this man is a big horrible cheater and his wife is an unfortunate victim, isn’t that so? Well, not necessarily. Not in my book, at least. First and foremost, we should remember that a couple is a essentially combination of two separate wills. For this reason, I believe it’s inaccurate to lay the blame for something on just one of the members of the couple.

Besides, we should remember that sex is something we do with our body, whereas marriage and love is something that calls for the whole of our being: of which sex is only a tiny fraction. Continue reading “Cheating is something you do with your mind, not your body.” »

Don’t let your happiness depend on your spouse.

Being part of a meaningful and nurturing steady relationship is probably one of the most satisfying experiences anyone can strive towards as a human being. If you succeed in being part of such a relationship, everything else in your life will fall into place most easily. However, you should remember that every coin has two sides: and if on one side the positive aspects of a relationship can be extremely uplifting, on the other side the negative aspects about it can be terribly nerve-wrecking and soul-shattering.

By no means do I intend to propose that you should avoid getting into a relationship out of fear that something might go wrong and you’ll be left in the dumps. However, you should keep in mind that such thing MIGHT indeed happen – and there are subtle, but crucial shifts in perspective that you can adopt right now, that will not only safeguard your emotional integrity if something goes wrong, but they’ll simultaneously contribute to keeping your relationship from going sour and stale.

The degree to which your happiness depends on your spouse is equivalent to the degree to which you’ll feel miserable if something goes wrong.

If your happiness depends completely on your spouse you will feel absolutely miserable, should anything go wrong with your relationship! To every coin there is a flip-side, and I see too many people suffering unnecessarily because they fail to recognize this principle. Additionally, the more you depend on your loved one to be happy, the most likely you’ll suffocate your relationship quicker than you can utter “Woe, not wow. where have I failed, my precious? Please, PLEASE come back, or I promise I will slit my wrists because I can no longer live without you“.

You really think you’re in love, don’t you? If you do, you should know this: Love should be all about giving, and none about taking. Love is nothing to do with neediness. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to support your partner, rather than depend on her/him  to keep you happy. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel compelled to look after yourself so that your other half doesn’t have to worry about that. In such a relationship, you should feel happy and complete all on your own:

In a healthy relationship you’re not seeing someone out of a need for a affection, but simply because that person naturally makes your love blossom.

If you’re happy on your own and you CHOOSE being with someone else because you’re in love with that person, there’s a much better chance the relationship will thrive. By choosing this route, you’ll be unlikely to fall prey to unabashed jealousy, insecurities, emotional clinging, and a host of negative behaviors which tend to undermine a relationship.

Furthermore, you’ll be able effectively support your spouse and be there for her/him, without having a clouded judgment by your own wants and needs. If you don’t let your happiness depend on your spouse, you’ll have lots of happiness to spare! There’s an old adage that goes in the lines of:

Why do you go from door to door begging for a little joy, when you have a treasure of happiness in your own home?

In terms of a relationship, this gem of wisdom could be articulated as follows: why do you depend on your spouse to make you happy, when you could just get in tune with your inner joy and be able to pour endless happiness upon your relationship? Why do you choose to suffocate your relationship with your measly wants and needs, when you could just as easily nourish it, and be most happy on the long run?

I want you to think about this, and maybe you’ll realize that oftentimes our lack of perspective makes us behave in ways that drastically sabotage our chances of really being happy.

How to Have a Breakup Talk

There are two main strategies you can choose for acting out your frustration, when you think something is wrong in your relationship: essentially you can choose being childish or being mature. Both options are at once simple and complicated. For instance, being childish is easier because you won’t have to confront your fears or handle your emotions; this is all about spying, snooping and researching… which is actually more complicated than just sitting down and having a conversation. But when it comes to bottled up feelings, conversing is never really that easy, is it?

I’ve personally gone down the childish route most often (hence this blog), because I’ve found it takes almost super-human strength of character to follow the mature route. The mature route is actually a lot simpler because it merely involves communicating, but it’s also the hardest rout because it takes a certain degree of self-mastery to keep one’s emotions from blowing our sense away, while trying to have THAT conversation. You know, the one where you set your cards on the table and speak your heart out to your spouse – which is in fact what you should have been doing all along.

If you’re feeling insecure and you REALLY want to know whether something is wrong in your relationship, and whether or not your spouse is cheating on you… you really have to confront your fears and just bring yourself to TALK about it. It may sound overly simplistic, but it’s really all about talking it over! Granted, there’s a chance you won’t get an honest answer… but trust me on this one: the more genuinely honest you come across in your exposition, the likelier you are to receive an honest answer.

What sounds more mature?

a) “Honey… I really think something isn’t right, and we should try and talk about it”

or

b) “HOW COULD YOU!?! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOU $#”%”%!!! “?

There’s not much point in asking your spouse for the truth, if  you’re acting like the truth will make you go berserk, is there? That kind of attitude will just encourage your spouse to further deceive you. What you want to do is take stock of your feelings and put them out on the open with as much delicacy and humility as you possibly can. Just admit what you already know for sure: that something is off. That’s the first step towards re-opening the lines of communication; and you may not realize it yet, but those are the very same lines of communication that brought you together in the first place!

We’re all prone to picturing ourselves as victims of an ignoble fate… but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize how you’re always getting what you had coming for you in the first place! In your angry perspective, it may feel as though your spouse has all the blame for wrecking your relationship… but trust me, that’s never how it works in human relationships. It takes two to tango, you know: and likewise it takes two to build up relationship problems. There are always things that your spouse thinks you shouldn’t have done, and others she thinks that you should have. It may not be apparent to you, but if you ask her, she will be quite happy to let you know!

At this point, I suppose you have to choices: give up on your relationship, or do your best effort to save it. If you choose the latter, do your relationship yourself a favor make your best effort to stick to the mature road. Be honest, and most importantly, be humble. Be ready to admit you’re not perfect, and likewise admit you haven’t always been perfect. I think you’ll be surprised how acting mature will encourage your spouse to do the same, while acting childish will just entice your spouse to be childish as well.

4 Things to Checkup On

Ending a relationship is seldom a pleasant even in one’s life… especially when the relationship’s end is brought about by infidelity. Getting cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings one can experience while in a relationship, and yet it’s actually a feeling that can be most easily avoided. You may get puzzled with this statement but: I’m confident that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on. But before I tell you just what I mean, I’ll indulge your self-imposed doubts by laying out four main strategies that you can use to catch a cheating spouse.

1) Check up on your spouse’s car.

Okay, this is the first thing you want to do if you’re suspicious your spouse might be going on extra-marital activities right behind your back. There’s a number of things you should watch for, while checking up on a car: keep track of the mileage and try to see if your spouse is driving around a lot more than you’d expect. Check the GPS device for suspicious routes. Check the car for anything that might indicate marital foul play. Don’t look for obvious things like a XOXO note with lipstick on it, but focus on everything that looks strange, such as an odd magazine or book you’ve never seen your spouse carrying around.

2) Check up on your spouse’s computer.

If your spouse is cheating on you, there’s a good chance she’s using her personal computer as an instrument of deceit. What you want to do is install a spy software, inspect her Instant Message logs, try to hack into her e-mail accounts. Also… on a short notice, ask her to borrow the computer for a whole day, and try to notice if she looks nervous with the idea of what you may find in there. As you’re about to realize, quite often the best way to catch a cheater merely involves closely watching her reactions.

3) Check up on your spouse’s cell phone.

Similarly with the previous scenario, there are two ways in which you want to spy her cell phone: covertly and openly. For example, when she’s in the shower, take the plunge! Swiftly take her purse and look around her cell phone without her knowing. Also, on a different occasion do the opposite – just ask her to use her cell phone; pretend that yours is broken and tell her that you want to send some text messages to some common friends. Try to notice how she reacts to the idea of you snooping around her SMS mailbox; if she doesn’t seem the least worried, there’s probably not much to spy, anyway.

4) Check up on … yourself! (and be honest).

All the advice I just gave you in catching a cheating spouse are really simplistic and infantile, and I want you to consider how they all actually lean towards a single issue: lack of communication. If you feel compelled to spy your spouse’s car, computer or cell phone, then you likely have a feeling that something is off. If you have such a feeling and you can’t bring yourself to just talk about it and discuss the possibility that not everything is well… more likely than not, you have a problem.

If you’re bold enough to look into your heart: you’ll realize that you already know whether you’re getting cheated on.

Let me clarify something : my definition of “getting cheated on” is broader than you might imagine. As far as I’m concerned, getting cheated on is not what happens when your spouse engages romantic interests with another person. That’s pretty much the far end of cheating avenue, not the beginning; getting cheated on begins when your spouse starts losing interest in you ( for whatever reason), and fails to let you know. Because when communication starts failing in a relationship… that’s exactly when the relationship starts failing as well.

How to Forgive a Cheating Husband

So what if you have a cheating husband? It could get worse, but it CAN get better!

This might come across as a harsh thing to say, but it’s true. From time immemorial, human males have been hunters, and human females have been gathers; in the primitive days, men were in charge of hunting down animals, and women were fit to stay in the cave and look after the children. This just goes to say… men have a genetic predisposition to spread their seeds in order to assure survival of the species, while women have a genetic predisposition for watching over the sacred temple: home.

Continue reading “How to Forgive a Cheating Husband” »

Recover from an Affair (A true story)

Part One: About Our Marriage Before The Affair: This is a long story but I will try to make it as short as I possibly can. Prior to an event which happened a couple of years ago, I was a happily married woman with two happy kids that both my husband and I adore and place as our highest propriety.

My husband and I met in college and were inseparable from that moment on. We had an intense chemistry, open communication, respected one another immensely and were deeply committed to creating a strong, stable marriage conducive to raising a happy family. I was never unhappy and I never thought that he was either.
Continue reading “Recover from an Affair (A true story)” »

Thought about having an affair? New Dating Service

Infidelity is on the rise – and it may be a good thing for some.

More and more women are finding themselves trapped in loveless marriages and there are many reasons these same women choose to stay in their relationships. Some do it for financial reasons or because there are children involved, or some do it simply because they’re afraid to be on their own. Fact is – countless women (and men) are finding satisfaction in discreet affairs via online dating services. There is obviously a lot of controversy over such a service, and while I do not agree with cheating, I do believe in happiness. Every situation is different, so I will gladly provide info on any subject that may help someone.

Continue reading “Thought about having an affair? New Dating Service” »

Should You Get a Background Check on Your Fiance?

Date Safe Do an Online Background CheckAre you getting married in the near future? Do you feel confident that you know your fiancé (fiancée), inside and out? If you have any doubt in regard to their past, you might want to consider conducting a background check. As the saying goes ‘it’s better to be safe than sorry’.

Continue reading “Should You Get a Background Check on Your Fiance?” »