In a perfect world, spying on your spouse would not be wrong. It would be pointless: because in a perfect world, your spouse would not conceivably cheat, lie, or have your best interests at heart.
We live in the real world where human beings are by definition less than perfect, and this reality we live in has millions of shades and hues. Trying to conceive of these moral matters in terms of right and wrong unfortunately doesn’t work.
Healthy relationships are all about trust… right?
If you’re still asking yourself this kind of question, there’s a good chance you’re caught up in overly simplistic worldviews. You need to put things in perspective and look at the big picture.
And the big picture is: no, ideally you shouldn’t have to spy on your spouse. But if that will somehow help safeguard your relationship before it begins to derail, or if you’re sure it will help preserve your emotional integrity… then yes, the end does justify the means, and in such cases a bit of snooping around may be the right thing to do.
Sometimes, your partner will engage in romantic foul play just because they’re feeling confused, or bored, or scared about being part of a serious relationship. All these situations can be managed efficiently if you become aware of what’s going on before it’s too late. And let’s face it… this is not the kind of thing your partner will tell you about if you just come out and ask.
Bottom line: sometimes spying on your spouse is the only way to salvage your relationship before bridges have been burnt and lines have been crossed to which there’s no return.
Additionally, spying can be the only way to know for sure who you’re really dealing with, before the relationship gets too serious. Many people decide to spy on their spouses not because they’re suspicious that something could be wrong, but simply because they want to check it they can really trust that person, before taking the relationship to the next level.
Using technology to take a discreet peek
Long gone are the days of hiring a private eye or driving around in your car discreetly following your spouse, looking to uncover their secrets. This is the XXI century, and there are much better and more effective ways to investigate what your other half is up to while away from your sight.
And the great thing is how you can get access to some pretty sophisticated espionage tactics for free or with little cost. If you know what you’re doing, you can get a lot of sensitive data your spouse may be trying to hide from you. You can get the intel by using some relatively simple tools most people don’t know about.
Some of the most interesting tactics currently available include:
- You can secretly install a piece of software in your spouse’s computer that will discreetly give you access to records of their on-line activity, including instant messaging sessions.
- You can use a reverse phone directory to check out who does that number that keeps calling your spouse belong to.
- You can even customize your spouse’s phone so it continually broadcasts their whereabouts to your own smartphone or personal computer.
And those are just some basic examples! The point here is that once you decide that spying on your spouse is the right thing to do, there are actually lots of tools you can rely on for that purpose.
Most importantly: if you play your cards right, your other half will never even know that you’ve been meddling in their private affairs, so if it turns out that no foul play has been taking place behind your back, you can just drop your suspicions and your spying, and go on with your happy life.
There is a line between investigating and prying
Before rounding up this article there’s an important point that should be addressed, which pertains to the ethics of spying on a romantic partner. There is a fundamental guideline that should be kept in mind while partaking in this kind of experiment:
It’s one thing to spy on your spouse because you distinctively feel something is wrong with your relationship, and you’re sure that asking won’t yield valid answers.
It’s another thing to spy because you’re compulsively insecure, or because you just feel compelled to meddle for no good reason.
Trust is a fundamental part of a steady relationship, and if you keep spying on your romantic partner just because you can… that will likely back-fire against you, sooner or later.
Make sure you’re acting with the intent of safeguarding your relationship, as opposed to merely attending to your selfish interests and romantic insecurity! That is the best way to ensure that spying on your spouse is indeed the right thing to do.