Top 5 Things you Shouldn’t Do When Dumping a Cheater

It’s extremely painful to find out your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, and you may feel angry and betrayed. You should. It doesn’t matter if they were drunk, lonely, “on a break”, or just plain horny – there is no excuse if you are in a committed relationship. In most cases if you are cheated on, it’s best to get out of the relationship and dump the cheater. You may feel the world has crumbled around you all of a sudden, but take this opportunity to learn something and grow.

When you find out that your spouse cheated on you, it can make you feel hurt so intensely that you’ll want to do some really bad things. Physical violence should ALWAYS be avoided. It can land you in jail and make the situation even more embarrassing and worse for you. We’ve heard some real interesting stories sent to us by readers, and most people felt the cheater deserved the revenge – but did it make them feel better? In most cases… yeah it did, but you might actually be doing more damage to yourself than you realize. Why would you want to keep focusing your precious energies and attention on a person that clearly proved they don’t love you? You may think that’s a way of punishing that dirtbag cheating whore douche (forgive my language, i’ve been cheated on too), but as a matter of fact it’s just a way of punishing yourself.

Although an insidious act of revenge can make you feel better or that things are even, it won’t heal the wound and will make you no better than the cheater. The best thing to do is.. be classy. Show them that you meant nothing to them and move on with out a care in the world. This might even hurt them worse than any evil revenge, because take it from me… the best revenge is having them regret you.

5 – Share their naughty pictures or videos

In this day and age of facebooks and twitters and widespread cell phone cameras, this approach to revenge is extremely common. During the aftermath of a relationship turned sour, you’ll probably have some naughty pictures or videos of that cheating no-good ex. You’ll likely still have access to a network of their friends via your social media profiles… so it goes without saying you’ll feel tempted to divulge some of that graphic content, with embarrassment as a goal. Well, don’t. Not only is that a way to demean yourself and look desperate, you can potentially get in legal troubles by doing so.

4 – Waste too much time trying to hurt their reputation

It’s just one of those things that seems like a great idea when you’re feeling overwhelmed with sorrow and anger… but when you get back on your senses, you’ll probably realize it was a dumb thing to do. So don’t do it. The more you try to hurt the reputation of someone that cheated on you, the more other people will think you’re desperate and clueless. It’s one thing to tell people the truth; it’s another thing to create a personal crusade aimed at dragging someone’s name to the mud.

3 – Jump blindly into a “rebound” relationship

While it’s true that you should focus your attention elsewhere than your betrayed heart, jumping in a rebound relationship is generally a very unwise thing to do. If it’s something that just happens naturally, then fine… but if you deliberately look for the one that will make you forget the mischief of another… that will probably lead nowhere nice. At this point, you’ll be better off doing a bit of soul-searching and trying to understand what went wrong. After all, if you don’t learn anything from this unpleasant experience, there’s  a good chance you’ll just get involved with another cheater… which is also a surprisingly common outcome in this kind of situation.

2 – Blame your self over what happened

It takes two persons to have a relationship, and it takes two persons to wreck it. Sure, your spouse did cheat on you, and that’s inexcusable… but looking back in perspective, you’ll probably realize there were also things you did, or didn’t do, or could have done, which directly contributed to the unpleasant outcome. Even if your only fault was choosing to date with a person whose faithfulness does not match yours, that’s still something you could blame yourself over. Needless to say, this is very much pointless. You have to learn what you have to learn, and then you have to walk away from the ruins of your relationship, as soon as possible.

1 – For your own sake, do not dwell on it.

There’s only one direction in life, and that’s ahead: if you keep looking backwards, you’ll only keep bumping into unseen obstacles and creating further misery that will suit you like a glove. If there’s a key to happiness, it’s fashioned by assimilating experiences and learning from them, so you start anticipating and steering off bad things in the future. For your own sake, you have to focus on getting something from this heart-ache and suffering you have been tossed upon. It may sound impossible right now, but there’s always a way to turn a negative experience into a chance for maturation and self-improvement.

Tags: Revenge // 2 Comments »