Maybe you’ve already found prince/princess charming?

Countless people have wasted their lives looking for some kind of perfect love, while allowing for great shots at Love to slip between their numb fingers, their absentmindedness, their barren hearts.

Too many among us have wasted their precious youths waiting for their prince or princess charming: a living carbon copy of all our intimate longings and desires. Well, do you know what? Sometimes it’s better to just let go of such aspirations and start living in reality. In other words, it’s better to stop living in a world of fantasy and choose romantic love for what it’s meant to be: a construction of affection and perseverance.

In itself, Love is an elusive concept – regardless it’s generally very much attainable in a relationship. Perfect Love on the other hand, is absolutely unrealistic and delusional. It’s an imaginary concept, a matter for sigh-ridden romances and heart-warming operas. From fiction to reality much gets lost in translation, and it’s really sad how we sometimes evade something that might blossom into love, while insistently looking for something that would somehow match our inordinate romantic expectations.

Think about it for a moment. What kind of romantic love seems strongest: one that is seemingly innate and fairy-tale like and never took effort or commitment at all, or one that bears the the right fruit of mutual seasoning, respect and tolerance? While in their teenage years, most people will likely choose the former. This is perhaps to blame on immaturity and unrealistic expectations. This perception as love is akin to something that’s ready-made, and calls for no effort at all. Just like picking up your favorite burger and gnawing at it with the ease and delight of unabashed affection.

Well, know what? That’s really no love at all. It’s just gluttony, it’s craving for something that brings immediate albeit shallow satisfaction. And as you might have noticed…. in the realm of satisfaction, “rapid” invariably associates with “fleeting”.

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I do believe in intense chemistry at first sight. Love is a much more complex beast; is something that calls for understanding, mutual knowledge and insight of another soul. Love isn’t something that fulfills our every whim, it’s something that makes us whole. Something that we need, which sometimes is rather opposed to something that we want.

It may seem like an overstatement, but Love is  something that can be glimpsed in many – or maybe all – of our romantic interests, but all the while it’s something that may call for a lifetime of work and commitment before it can be fully observed. Despite the fact that you keep looking, you might have already met your prince or princess charming… several times over, and you probably failed to realize so each time, because you were too busy comparing your expectations to the actual person you were involved with.

Remember this: real love isn’t butterflies and fireworks sparking between two sights: it’s an ugly thing, akin to dreaming about your own entrails getting slowly scattered in the cold moonlight and being intensely afraid that our personal integrity may shatter and dissolve. Being in love can be intensely frightening, because it’s indeed meant to shatter our individual integrity, as to make room for fusion with another human being.

“Forever after” is a lot of time in real world romance, and quite often it’s terrifying to think a romantic affair might last longer. I think we all have a tendency to sabotate our relationships because we’re afraid it might otherwise last forever after. And that would be terrible, because our shot at true love might be just around the corner, right?

Think again, your best shot at true love might just be standing next to you, it might be the girl you’re already dating and thinking about letting go in your search for the One. True love might be standing right next to you, hoping that you’ll just grow up and embrace it.

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