So what if you have a cheating husband? It could get worse, but it CAN get better!
This might come across as a stupid thing to say, but it’s true. From time immemorial, human males have been hunters, and human females have been gathers; in the primitive days, men were in charge of hunting down animals, and women were fit to stay in the cave and look after the children. This just goes to say… men have a genetic predisposition to spread their seeds in order to assure survival of the species, while women have a genetic predisposition for watching over the sacred temple: home.
Rest assured though… I’m not trying to say that it’s okay for men to cheat because they are just following their genetic programs. Any man who uses such argument to his defense is foolish, and he has clearly forgotten the days of prehistoric caves are long gone. But still… you should keep in mind that sometimes men will cheat not because they’re unhappy with their relationships, but simply because it’s just… something they do. Granted, if you’ve been victim of a cheating husband this logic will do you no good, but it might set you on the path to setting things straight.
Okay, so men cheat and sometimes it’s something that just comes along with their chromosomes and genital appendages… but all the while you should try to understand, but not just forgive them unless they really put some work into it. If you’re considering the option of giving your man a chance to prove what he’s really worth, here are three essential guidelines.
- Don’t just let it slip by. He screwed up, and if he wants you back he must be able to prove that he’s truly, genuinely sorry about his wrong ways. Naturally, saying “I’m sorry” is easy, but proving it is no so simple. However, if he really loves you, he will go out of his way to restore your relationship.
- You will make him come out straight, and you will have to face it. You should make him tell every little detail about his cheating… who he cheated with, when it came about, how long it happened, and WHY did he do it. Unless he is able to honestly all these questions, you should just let him go, because that guy is bad news.
- Everything changes, and this time he will have to earn your trust. That means starting to let you in on his detailed routine, his personal interests and whatever he may be doing behind your back. It will do no good to painstakingly hound him, but you will have to get in the know concerning his lifestyle: no more secrets, no more hiding.
Getting cheated on might sound like a terrible thing now, but trust me: it could have meant nothing… OR it could have meant that something was very wrong in your relationship. Understanding what happened – and why – is extremely important to set things straight; when all is said and done, your relationship could actually improve once you get over the betrayal.
If you value having an honest, true relationship, you will be able to forgive your cheating husband, in time and provided he makes good effort. Furthermore, you should know that many relationships actually get stronger and more honest once you’ve succeeded in forgiving, understanding and managing what has happened… as well as making sure it won’t happen again. Just keep in mind the greatest betrayal is the betrayal of trust.